Page 3 of Yours, Finally

Jake and I walked for a few minutes, following the winding paths until the shrubbery obscured the hall. The low light of the gardens were moody and fit my feelings.

He held his hands behind his back. "Almost a Vice President. What's your next goal? Do you have any, or do you feel… complete?"

I couldn't help it. I snorted. "Complete? Does anyone ever? That's a tall order."

"I think it's possible… don't you?"

I crossed my arms and rubbed my hands on my arms for some warmth.

I shrugged. "Maybe… but I don't mean to be ungrateful. I am extremely privileged. I do have most things I want. I'm just… off tonight, to use your word."

He cut a glance my way. "You get to be off, once in a while."

"Once in a while only?" I smiled.

"Every other day, tops."

I laughed. It lightened my chest.

His eyes softened on me. "There we go. That's better."

I bit my lip and looked straight ahead. He had always treated me like a friend, and had never made a move… but, once in a while, he said little things, or looked at me a certain way that had me wondering… what if?

I sighed. "Thank you. It's a funk I don't want to be in, but here we are."

"What's going on? You can talk to me, if you like."

I wrinkled my nose. "I don't know…"

The best-slash-worse thing that could happen was that he did the kind thing and listened to me and offered me a hug. I’d had a couple of those through the years. They wereamazing. Nothing compared to a Jake hug. I both craved them and feared them, because they made the limerence worse.

"I won't judge," he said.

"I know you won't, but…"

He was part of why I felt the way I did, so romantically disheartened.

"We're alone in a quiet garden at night." He swept his hand across the air, in a loose show of the manicured space. "It's private. Nothing has to go out of the confines of our walk. If you want to talk, I'm here. It's sad that you're sad, and if I can help, I'd like to."

My hesitation only lasted for a couple of seconds. It would feel good to take a portion of the truth and air it out. If he had only hugged me twice in twenty years, chances were he wouldn't make that night a third.

"You know I love my parents dearly, right?" I said. "They're amazing. The one unintended consequence of having such great people raise you is that they show you exactly what you want and how to ask for it, and that includes what I want out of love."

We continued to walk side-by-side, strolling away in the mostly-dark. A hint of dew rose in the air, mixed with the remnants of flower perfume that would have been intense during the day.

I took a deep breath. "I'm ecstatic that I got the promotion the way I did, proving this was at least in part meritocracy, even if my parents own the conglomerate. And still… I know it'll make my romantic prospects worse."

"Worse, how?" he asked. "I can't imagine you'd ever lack attention. You're striking."

Two such comments on the same night. No wonder I kept on being hooked by the idea of Jake, when he offered me these random, tiny nuggets of hope. He had to see something attractive in me to say that, right?

I pursed my lips. "I get enough attention, just not the right kind. The guys I've dated have been so vapid, more into their stocks than anything. Where are the good ones? They're either hiding, or my old friends were right and they're intimidated by me."

The friends that also used to say the problem was me. That I chose the wrong guys. A little victim-blamey in my opinion, but I should probably consider that option too, sometime. After several attempts at romance that failed at the four-to-six month mark, something didn't square up.

"Intimidated?" Jake gazed at me in confusion.

"Yes. I'm a young woman, a billionaire in a position of power in an international conglomerate. I'm pretty, I think, and I'm a woman in a big body who loves herself. Lots of people panic at the mix."