Page 44 of Love in Times of Contempt

Her lungs were in overdrive. The skin on her face grew cold.

"It's not supposed to take you this long to answer." Liam's voice rasped out of him, low and heavy.

"I do want you in my future! Of course I do."

Hurt shone in his eyes. "Then why the hesitation?"

"I'm just trying to put my words together."

Ana's heart drummed hard in her chest, knocking against her sternum in a panic. She wasn't sure how they'd gotten to this point, but now that they were here, tears built in her eyes with a warning.

"Tell me the truth." Liam's face hardened, but it didn't hide the raw emotion in his eyes. "Do you doubt at all that we're gonna make it?"

Ana blinked away her tears. "I don't— it's not about that— I think it's just the marriage thing."

"What?" He scoffed. "What do you mean,marriage thing?"

Her voice wavered. "Marriage is… definitive. Like— like I've forgotten my heart could shatter."

Liam shook his head. He grabbed at his hips. "So you do have doubts."

"And you don't?! Liam— it's impossible to know for sure. I want you in my life… but I don't know that you will be."

"Why the fuck wouldn't I be? Short of dying—"

"I don't know! What if something happens? Or you fall out of love with me?"

He swallowed a hard gulp, lips pursed. "Is this about your ex?"

"No— yes— no. No. I don't care about Dave, but he proves my point. Relationships rarely last."

He rubbed his forehead with effort. "You'll need to tell me more."

The raspiness in his voice, the mirror of the exhaustion she felt, took her fight away. She sighed, her body dropping the wall keeping them apart in their conflict. The quick stitches in her heart burst open, but she held the wound together, willing it to heal.

She took slow, heavy steps and sat on the settee at the front of their bed. Liam didn't move; he stood in place, body angled slightly away from her.

She sighed. "After Dave and I broke up, it took me a while to even think about meeting new people. RememberLove in Times of Contempt?"

"Your film about dating."

"Yeah. I started filming it two months after breaking up with Dave. Part of my grieving, in a way."

He dropped his head and took a deep breath. Shaking his head, he took one of the chairs from the sitting area and placed it in front of Ana, where he sat down. He stared at her, the distance between them colder than it had ever been… his green eyes hardened into emeralds, but he was there. He was willing to listen.

She hoped she'd be able to finally put words to how she felt. "Most people, when they watch that film, see the work that goes into finding love. The constant heartbreak, the low moments when you ask, why bother? Is it even worth it? Only then you meet your person, and you forget all about the bad stuff and throw yourself all in."

He nodded, his eyebrows heavy with his frown. "I remember. That was your question, wasn't it? Why bother? And you answered it by saying, because when it works, it's beautiful."

"Yeah. It's heartbreak until it isn't. Then it'll be worth it."

His breathing came deep yet constrained. It slowly returned back to normal; his face softened, but his frown remained. "Then I don't get it—"

He took one of her legs and placed her foot on his knee. With gentle fingers, he started to work on the buckle of her shoe. That he could be caring in a moment like this broke her heart a little, but love shone in the tears.

She took a deep breath. "I filmed it that way because it was the way the movie needed to be made. But it didn't convince me. Did you realize only one of the people I got in the film had their happy ending? I interviewed twenty people. Twelve made it into the film. I followed five closely. Only one out of all of them found their happily ever after."

"Are they still together? I know you talk to your people a couple times a year—" Liam slid the shoe he'd been working on off, softly guided her foot to the ground, and moved to her other leg.