Page 107 of Yours, For Now

The emotional rollercoaster of the last eighteen hours had left me exhausted. From devastation after the fight with my dad and uncle, to getting to know true comfort, to feeling so cherished that I got a bit emotional when I thought about it… My heart still beat a little erratically.

I entered my home trying to make as little noise as possible. It would be best for my mood to avoid seeing my dad, and try to nap in my room instead. Once the fragile feeling making tunnels in my muscles disappeared, I'd ask him to make a decision about my future in the company. No point in returning to work, if it would lead me nowhere.

For a moment, imagining the week ahead as preparation to leave made me breathless. I wouldn't give them more than that. I'd have to reach out to my network and see if anyone was hiring, but then I'd have my future open to me.

My heart beat fast as I went up the stairs, the force of it echoing at the base of my throat. Would it be okay to ask Gabe for job leads? I didn't want to work for him; I didn't want anything to come in the way of us potentially getting together. But he knew people, and if I ended up needing a new job, I was pretty sure he'd be happy to help.

Hence why I didn't want to have anything come up between us. He was an incredible man and if I may not get my family company, I wanted to at least get the guy.

The door to my room was open. I froze a few steps from it, my hand hanging in front of me. No noise came from inside and, a few moments later, my body thawed and I pushed the door open with two fingers.

My dad stood next to my bed, facing a side table.

"Dad?"

His shoulders went up to his ears; he didn't turn to me right away and, when he finally did, his eyes looked sheepish.

"Oh, bueno. Hola, hija. I thought you would be away for a bit longer." He rubbed his lips together. "Were you with Gabriel?"

I nodded. He did too.

I entered my room and stood in the middle of the space; the distance between my dad and I remained wide. "Please don't make a fuss about me staying with him."

Dad chuckled, and the gesture somehow made him look several years younger. "I won't. Not Gabriel. I like him."

"Then don't rush to marry me off. Gabriel is amazing, but we're nowhere near thinking about a wedding yet."

"Yet? No, I— well." He stared at the floor and took a few breaths. "As happy as we— I would be— if you two decided to— Mmh. Lo que pasa es… well."

He sighed and turned to collect an envelope I hadn't seen. He took a few steps my way and offered it to me. His eyes didn't quite meet mine.

"I'm not good at words, sometimes," he said. "Especially in English. And I really want to explain myself to you."

I hesitated, more out of surprise than anything.

He insisted, pushing his arm closer to me. "Please. Read it. I'm better at writing things down."

I took the envelope from him and held it in my hands.Catalina, it said.

I stared back at him, a hard knot in my throat.

My dad rubbed his lips together again. "I'll be outside by the tree, if you want me after you read it. Or you can find me later… whatever you prefer."

I nodded and waited until he'd left, the door closed behind him, to release the tension in my shoulders. It left me with a shaky breath.

I sat on my reading chair and opened the unsealed envelope. My dad's script met me and my eyes teared up almost instantly.

Hija mía,

I wish I were better speaking up and sharing my thoughts clearly when needed. Ask your mom, I have written a few letters to her in the past when my words failed me. But I hope that, just like she has in the past, you will accept this attempt instead.

You are one of the joys of my life, Lina. We waited so long for you, and I'm grateful everyday that we had you. I am proud that you are following my steps and want to take over this company I founded. It may be wrong, but I think of it as one of my life accomplishments, that you want to keep it going. If you didn't know that you absolutely have my shares in the company, then that is my failing. I should have said so a long time ago, but I sometimes have trouble making a stand. I was raised to listen to Miguel on everything; setting up this company was the one thing I did on my own… and not for long. His attitude has been a necessary part to our success, and I usually let him take the lead.

When Miguel goes on and on with his rants, I tune him out. When you join him and argue with him, I panic. Your mom says I'm like an ostrich and hide my head in the sand at the smallest hint of trouble. I know she's right, and I'm sorry for what it's done to you. You deserve better from your father. I will try to do better. But don't let my cowardice scare you, I've always been on your side. I'll do my best to show you, moving forward. And it will be my pleasure to see Enrique go on to chase his dreams, while I support you as you chase yours. Your uncle will have to accept it.

You can have it all, hija. You can have this company, a partner, and children. Or none of it, I suppose. Whatever you choose, you can have. If I insist on you having a family of your own it's because I want you to know joy like I've known, with your mom and you in my life. But as long as you're happy, I will be happy to cheer you on. Whatever that looks like for you. Even if I keep on having trouble speaking these words to you, know I feel each of them in my heart.

Please forgive your old man for his old school ways, and know that I love you most of all.