Page 7 of Beautiful Madness

“What did she do to me?” Iasked, my voice toneless but my heart aching.

“She tortured you, sweetheart.She twisted you. She did not see you as a separate being, a tiny child. She sawyou as a broken-off chunk of herself, and one she despised. She was determinedto make you into a…” She shook her head, unable to say the words.

“A killing machine,” Imurmured.

She took my hand, tentatively,afraid I’d reject her touch. “Yes, baby. She was a monster.”

And at the wordmonster,I did remember something, though it was unformed and cloudy. “She didn’t try toturn me into a monster. I was already a monster,” I said. “She told me I was borna monster.”

“Shewas the monster,sweetheart,” my mother cried. “Oh, that awful nightmare of a bitch. What shedid to my baby.” She burst into tears.

I was too numb to do anything.I simply stared at her. “Tell me the rest.”

“She loved your fatherobsessively. I understood that, because I did, as well—just not in such atwisted way. She wanted rid of me, and she wanted to be at his side when hetook over not just the Stone Moon Pack, but eventually every pack in thesurrounding territories. God knows what else. She wanted power, but she wantedit with him. She wanted to be respected, and in her own twisted way, she wantedto be loved. More than anything else, she wanted to be loved. She was neverable to see anything but herself. Everything was about her. Or against her.”

“A narcissistic monster,” I said.

Surprise lit her eyes. “Yes,honey. Oh yes, she was that.”

“I remembered some things,” Itold her. “The elders pushed that on me. I need to know in order to grow, theysaid. I can’t realize my full potential without removing the block of my past.”

“They want to use you,” shemurmured. “To use your power. That’s why they need you to develop it fully. Youknow that.”

“Yeah.” I finished off mycoffee and set the cup down a little too hard.

“I can only imagine how hurtfulit is to believe you’ve been used and betrayed by everyone you’ve evertrusted.”

“Not everyone,” I said.“There’s the alpha. There’s the detective. And Joe…”

At that, Joe came barrelinginto the room, wearing a grimace of outrage and fury. “Never me,” he roared,then plucked me off the sofa almost before Ash had time to leap off my lap. Hesqueezed me so tightly I couldn’t breathe. “I will never betray you. I swearit. If you can’t believe anything else, believe that. I don’t carewhatyou are.”

It showed my mindset that Ihadn’t even known Joe was in the house. Joe, who rarely left my side, his scentas familiar to me as my own.

“I tried to make him stay inthe kitchen with me,” Lucy said, coming into the room. “He refused. He wantedto be near just in case…”

“I would never hurt her,” mymother said calmly, but there was rage in her eyes when she looked at Joe. “Iwouldneverhurt her, Joe Patrick.”

He ran his hand over his smoothhead and blew out a hard breath. “I know you wouldn’t mean to,” he said,finally. “But I will have her back just in case you break her heart. And I knowwithout a single doubt that she would do the same for me.”

And it made sense, of course,why he felt about me the way he did. It wasn’t a romantic love, but it waslove, all the same. I loved him, as well, and he knew that. He knew that to me,he was worth saving. A kid’s childhood could fuck him up. Joe had been fuckedup in ways I could relate to, and he was drawn to me.

“Kait is the only person I’veever known who showed me unconditional love. I wasn’t even aware there was sucha thing until her.” He laughed, sort of. “I can say that because I know it’sthe truth.” He tapped his chest, and there was awe in his voice and gratitudein his eyes.

“Joe,” I murmured.

He smiled, then walked away.“I’ll be just outside the room.”

Lucy stood for a moment longer,downcast, hurt, and angry. But only at herself. “I should have been more likeJoe.” Then she followed him from the room.

“Kaity,” my mother said. “I’venever in my life seen someone gather such regard as you do. And no matter whatyou think sometimes, you are worth every speck of it.”

“Why?” I asked her.

“Because you give it backtenfold. Because you are an amazing fucking person.”

I rarely heard my mother swear,and if it had happened in any other scenario, it would have made me smile. Itook a breath and released it slowly, then sat back down. “So this is what Iknow. My father had sex with a madwoman behind your back. She gave birth to me,and he left me with her to abuse and twist and torment. Why?” I shrugged. “Whydo these wom…” I trailed off, my eyes widening. Was that why I was so confusedwith Sam? Because he was not only killing his mother, but mine, as well? Did Iwant to stop him because I saw my birth mother in those women, or did I want tolet him continue killing them for the same reason?”

“I suspect so,” she said, “butthere’s another reason, Kaity.”