Page 2 of Beautiful Madness

But without desperation and thefear that I or someone I loved was about to die, my power just lay quietly deepinside, mocking me.

Ael stared down at me—even at5’10 I was short next to the huge, hulking, and ancient wolf—frustrationpeeking through his icy eyes. But abruptly, his stare cleared and he grinned.

That grin caused me to take astep back, because there was something distinctly cruel in it. I knew immediatelyhe was going to do something I wouldn’t like. The wolf elder played dirty, andhe didn’t seem to like me to begin with.

“You simply need consistentpractice,” he told me. “Both in controlling your emotions and calling yourpower. I have been too easy on you today, attempting to stir you by causing youphysical pain. But you only fear emotional pain. So I will cause you some, overand over, until you can begin to call your power. Then we will work oncontrolling your temper and emotions.” He turned and gestured, and aholographic image of my father wavered around ten yards from where I stood.

“That’s some trick,” I said calmly,but my heart was heavy in my chest.

“The training room is set upfor our sessions,” he told me. “Whatever I need to use to train you is here—Ihave only to call it. Your mind needs to be untangled, pup, and the way to dothat is to chop at it with a sharp blade.”

“So now you’re my therapist,too.” I laughed, and honestly, it didn’t sound too hollow. “You really are anasshole, aren’t you?”

He shrugged one massiveshoulder, then pointed at the image. “When you manage to bring your power,direct the stream at Daniel Silver. If you turn it on me again, I will spankyou, and you will not like it.” The lines in his face deepened when he gave apleased smirk.

I wouldn’t have put it past theelder to literally spank me, though maybe he meant it in a different way. Iwasn’t taking a chance with that shit. I swallowed hard. “Maybe weshouldtry again next week.”

He roared with laughter, thoughas far as I could see, there wasn’t a damn thing funny. “No, pup, I think wewill continue our session.” All humor dropped from his voice. The look in hiseyes never changed. “Your father. Look at him, not me.”

I sighed but did as hedemanded.

“Say hello to daddy,” the oldwolf whispered.

“You’re the creepiest fuck I’veever met,” I snarled, then immediately attempted to tamp down the rising rage.What the hell was wrong with me?

I stared at the image, and thelonger I stared, the less it looked like a spirit wavering in the distance, andthe more it looked like my father come back to life. Grief swirled in my chestand rose to my eyes, and familiar rage gripped my heart.

“So much of you is wrapped upin your memories of this man,” Ael murmured. “And memories you can feel but notsee. You must accept the truth, pup, but to do that, you must first understandit.”

I tightened my hands into fistsand took a few steps toward the image of my father, but the elder quicklystopped me. Maybe the closer I got, the less real he would look. And I neededto keep reminding myself of that. He wasn’t real.

He was dead. Long dead. I wouldnever see him again, and certainly not like this.

“You didn’t save me,” my fathersaid. “Why did you let them kill me?”

I stuffed my fist against mymouth as I backed away, fighting nausea. “No,” I cried. “I won’t do this. Getthe fuck out of my head, Elder. I’m done.”

I turned to walk away, but myfather appeared in front of me. No matter where I turned, he was there. He wasalways just fuckingthere.

I did not want to face the painof my childhood. My failures. I didn’t want to bring it all up. Everythingabout my past needed to stay where it was—hidden in the shadows. And that wasexactly why I didn’t want to talk to my mother. I didn’t want to know what itwas she might tell me. What she might make me remember.

“Coward,” the wolf elder said.“Face it. See it.Killit, Kait Silver. You are no longer that child.”

“I don’t want to,” I said, asthough he were wrong, and Iwasstill that child.

“I know,” he replied, gently. “Butyou will.”

I stared at the image, becausemy only other choice was to close my eyes, and I was sick of not facing myfears, honestly. I wasn’t sure why, but I began to feel safe enough to do itthere—even though that particular elder seemed to dislike me immensely, andeven though the council was…dark.

“What is your first memory of yourfather?” someone asked, and it wasn’t the wolf elder. It was Ti, the goldenwoman.

I didn’t take my stare off myfather, though—I was certain I no longer could.

“Don’t think about it,” Tisaid. “Open your mouth and let the memory out.”

I wasn’t aware I had a firstmemory of my father until I began speaking. Part of me knew the golden femalewas in my head, that there was magic, that I was about to remember things Ididn’t want to remember.

I did not want to hate myfather. Hewasmy hero, whether he should have been or not. He’d savedme. From what, I did not know.