Page 64 of Broken Moon

Alpha. Mine.

I was there, but I was secondto the wolf. I crouched down deep inside, watching with awe, as the wolf slowlybegan to realize her freedom, her emotions, her physical self.

She was dark inside her mind.Dark and angry and slightly psychopathic. Hunger ruled her, as did her need torun, hunt, and wallow in her new freedom. She attempted to rise but fell backto the ground, snarling and biting the air, as though it were keeping her fromrising.

The alpha lowered his face toher neck and nuzzled her before biting her, although bite was the wrong word.He simply opened his mouth and rested his teeth against her flesh, forcing herto immediately calm. He was there. She would accept his domination and hisrule, and she would understand that he would take care of her. There wasnothing to fear.

That was the second my mindbecame less full of madness and the wolf and I became the same, only separate,sort of. I was in a different form, and I wasn’t really me, but I was. Somehow,I was.

She stopped growling and laystill, and second by second, she grew stronger. She grew into her body as herpanic subsided and at last, he padded away from her and demanded that she follow.

He watched patiently as she,with torturous slowness, managed to shakily stand. She shook her head andlifted her face to the cold sky and howled her ecstasy, rage, and triumph. Andeven though the moon was not full, it was strong and bright, mysterious andancient and beautiful, and we both felt its enormous power. We felt its pull.

My wolf was free.

Now if only she could run.

You can, I encouraged.You’re not what they think. You’re not weak and you’re not mad. You just needto learn how to be a wolf. Run, kiddo. You’re free.

She was mad, of course. She wasstark raving. But I loved this wild part of myself. And I would take care ofher as well as I could. No one was going to hurt her again. Not if I could helpit.

And myGod,did she loveher alpha.

At first.

There’d never been a moremagnificent wolf than Jared, and we thought of him as Alpha, no matter whatform he took. Neither of us could separate the two of them the way we didourselves.

I believed that it was becauseI’d thought of her, that warped, imprisoned, screaming wolf chained up insideme, as “her” for so long that I couldn’t think of her in any other way now.Maybe I would eventually.

She walked toward the alpha,slowly, carefully, proudly. and though she didn’t take her stare from his, shebegan to feel everything she’d been denied for so long. The cold air was rifewith intense smells—animals and rich dirt and dried leaves and rottingvegetation and old blood. Prey scurried in the shadows and hunger roaredthrough her, demanding her attention, but when she glanced away from him, thealpha gave a sharp bark, and she snapped her stare back to his.

Hungry. So hungry.

But it was not yet time tohunt. Her mind was ready—her body was not. Still, each step she took broughther closer to the alpha and made her just a little stronger. Energy began togrow, electric and huge, and it was like being jabbed with a million hotneedles as her body truly woke up.

She nearly made it to thealpha, eager to ram her nose against his fur and smell him,tastehim,even, if he’d allow it, and just be close enough to touch him. Even more thanfood, she wanted him. When she was just a few steps from him, he turned andloped away.

She could have been like,ohokay, I can play the “chase the alpha” game. I understood he was helpingher. Teaching her. But she was a bit of a psychopath, and she got frustratedand pissed off and thought he was teasing her and deliberately withholding whatshe needed.

So she didn’t follow him.Despite my warnings and admonishments, she limped in the opposite direction,growling, angry, and teetering right on the edge of a black pit of madness Icould not bear to look into.

Her rage was hair-trigger andit had just been set off. She still wanted to eat—she was ravenous. But morethan that, she wanted to hurt someone. Animal or person, she didn’t care which.And yes, I was aware that my suppressed rage was her not-so-suppressed rage,but I couldn’t admit it was Kait the woman feeling such a dark desire to kill.

I wanted to shift back to myhuman form but when I started to try to take control, it only made her worse. AndI wasn’t sure I had the power to take that control, anyway. I tried. I failed.

How the hell did I shift? Ididn’t know. I didn’t know how to shift.

As she’d been stuck inside mefor so long, I was now stuck inside her. Andthatwas terrifying. Howhad she survived being hobbled for so long? I wouldn’t survive it. My mindwould break in the first couple of hours, I was nearly certain.

The alpha burst from theshadows suddenly, full of silent threat, and she did not drop to the ground andshow him her belly. She went after him for his perceived rejection—not just fornow, but for twelve years ago—her fangs flashing, growling and snarling andfull of death, and I could only cover my ears and close my eyes and hope that Iwould not die here tonight.

I thought—hoped—that he mightforce me to shift to my human form, and try again with my wolf another time,but he did not. He let her fight. She was too weak to do much, but her ragecarried her. Shehadbeen twisted up inside, and her brain was fucked.Just fucked.

Calm down, I pleaded.Don’tmake him hurt you. Don’t make him kill you.

She wouldn’t listen. Darknessswirled like a violent dust storm inside her, flinging debris, growing into atornado. It was as though as her physical strength grew, as her time releasedinto the world grew, so did her absolute mad rage. There were twelve years ofhorror inside her, and it had to come out somehow.

I wished she could have beenstronger. I wished she could have been able to deal with her trauma in adifferent way. Her hatred exploded up from some dark, locked box inside her, hatredthat would only destroy her. I wished she didn’t hurt so damn much, so muchthat with her lack of control, she wanted to hurt those who had hurt her.