Page 53 of Sweet Dreams

Gentle voices spoke out, a succubus reached out, her face worried as I stopped, gasping and staring around myself.

Crumbs.

That’s what I had been offering Zaldi. This male who had centered himself around me with such a natural and loving purpose that I had barely even recognized it for what it was. But not now. Now I knew. And I could never unhear that kind, elder succubus stating for me what my mind had been so resistant to learning.

I was Zaldi’s mate. Not his mate, that shit was apparently dictated by something outside my control. But I was his, just like he was mine. My other half.

He had been since the first time we’d met. And, while I had the long road to recognizing it, Zaldi had been choosing to exist in a lesser state of happiness so he could be loyal to only me. And that was how he was planning on existing for the rest of his very, very long life. Just so I could do things my way.

Emotions choked me as I jerked away from the approaching people, turning instead towards the smooth sloping hills of the area just beyond the core and Zaldi’s home. My feet were carrying me forward before I even understood the action. The grasses were thigh high and soft, brushing against my body as I forced myself to keep going. I ignored the louder tones behind me, knowing that Zaldi must’ve spotted me.

Which was good.

Or, was it? I wasn’t sure what to do. The feelings that I’d felt in that room had been so raw, so tight and dangerously strung, that this was the only thing I could do.

Move. Run. Until this overwhelming pressure lessened. Because it had to. Because I couldn’t breathe otherwise.

Move.

Move.

Move.

The dirt and loose stones under my feet shifted and rolled as I finally reached the peak of the hill. I bent over, hands on my knees as I dragged breath into my lungs. When my vision cleared, my breathing slowed as I carefully raised my head and looked out at the horizon. This is where my…mate was from. This place, these family members, this community, they all loved and supported him. And while Salus Glen had been a new home to him, I knew he was there for me.

And any idea that he wouldn’t be there any more left me even more light-headed than I was before. Because I couldn't imagine my life without him. Whether that meant I looked out at these hills for the rest of my life or whether it was spent sipping coffee at Joes--I wanted to be with him.

My eyes clamped shut. And, then, I could picture it. The piles of papers and laptops, work and chaos between the two of us. My Gigi making us dinner while Grandfather and Zaldi argued over cards. And maybe, just maybe, a future where we are standing together, looking out at our own horizon, mischievous rose-colored children at my sides.

And in every one, my constant shadow, my supportive weight, Zaldi stood behind me, his body a block from the world, while remaining an anchor for my dreams.

He was mine.

I was his.

And, in this moment, finally, after weeks of second-guessing myself, of confusing my own mind, I knew I loved him. I loved the way he smelled, the way he moved, the way he was so curious about everything, and the way he held me like I was the only thing in the entire world to him.

A smile curled my lips, even as a single tear burned its way from my eyes.

I had kept him waiting too long. I had known moments after meeting him that he was going to change my life. And I was tired of fearing keeping it tame.

“Thank you, Grandmother,” I whispered to the succubus elder who I’d just run from. I would apologize to her later. After I–I jerked around, realizing someone was shouting my name.

No, not just someone.

My someone.

Zaldi was running towards me. His low-slung pants, the only clothes he’d bothered with today, gave me a tantalizing look at my mate. Every smooth muscle, the cording of his chest and arms as he hurried up the hill to join me at the top.

“Fuck, Lulu. I’m so sorry. I had no idea she was going to do that. I would never push you to do something – especially not that–” Zaldi stopped the moment I pressed my fingers to his lips.

“Z,” I whispered softly, “I think I finally know what I want.”

His chest was rising and falling more quickly now and the heartbeat that pounded under my fingertips told me just how badly we both wanted this.

“Lu…” His eyes were wholly black as he stared down at me, but his hands moved carefully, coming to rest on my hips. And, then, he waited. Because that’s who he was. He would’ve waited my whole life, loving the bits of me I was leaving for him like scraps. Because I'd been so scared to love him completely.

But, no more.