Page 39 of Judge of Saints and Sinners

Whatever life I had before, it couldn’t compare. That much was sure.

She whimpered under my mouth, her movements against my belly frantic and excited. I could hear her hummingbird for a heartbeat, so fast compared to mine, so excitable. I was addicted to the way her entire body wrapped around me, trapping me in her grasp, even as her whispered words begged for more.

I needed to return the favor, to make her understand this nearly suffocating need to be with her. It went beyond normalcy, and while I knew that obsession was something shared by many, I had never felt this way before.

“Judge,” she whispered, breaking the kiss for a moment to press her face to my neck, where she nipped and played with my flesh there. I let my head fall back, something rolling in my veins, something harsher than arousal, more dangerous than anger. It built and built, making my head spin as I leaned forward against the diner’s wall, keeping her flush to me as my vision blacked out then came back, blurred images and memories flashing across my mind’s eye.

I could feel my soul through her flesh, through our touch. The bond that tied me to her was buzzing so loudly, I could barely hear anything else.

Take it, the monster in my torn soul demanded. Take it now. Free us. Then we will claim our mate, our lady.

No, I thought with panic, my skin chilling as I realized what would happen. What this could mean for Justine. Being tied to a monster was bad enough. But one that stood at the right hand of the literal devil was something else altogether.

She said she was strong. I knew she was. But she didn't need to be strong. Not for me.

I simply couldn’t let her. With a strangled cry, I released the nearly punishing grip I’d had on her legs, shoving myself away from her. Our bodies broke apart at the same moment my chest ached with the break of my heart.

Because things had to change, starting now. There would be no going back if I let myself have her. Bending at the waist, I leaned over, dragging the cold evening air into my body as I attempted to ground myself in that simple fact.

I had lost my soul bound before.

I would not lose her Even if it cost me everything else.

“Judge?” A worried, soft voice was calling my name, gentle fingers smoothing my hair back from my face as I blinked quickly, trying to gain control back over my body and mind. Her body pressed into mine the moment I straightened. This time it wasn’t passion, but concern in every line of her body.

Against my chest, I felt her heartbeat accelerate, her fingers shaking slightly as she pressed against my shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

I glanced down at her as she tugged her shirt back into place. Her movements were a little too careful, and I could sense the confusion blooming between us. But as soon as I reached for her once more, to pull her closer to me, to let her know that everything was going to be fine, something twisted in my gut.

I couldn’t do that.

My fingers reached out, skin burning as a flare of sensation raced across my knuckles, dancing to my fingertip for just a moment, before I curled my hand into a fist and pulled it to my chest.

My power—fuck, it was growing back and with a vengeance. And while that strangeness still pressed on my heart, I couldn’t help but feel the wave of satisfaction that my power had always brought me.

Now more than ever, I needed to keep my distance. Emotionally and physically. There was a part of me that no one else could ever know. A part of me that had disappeared with my powers but had come back just as quickly. I took a step back.

“What happened? I thought…” Her eyes followed me as I breathed in deeply, crossing my arms.

“You thought what?”

She blinked at the venom in my words, stepping back.

“I’m sorry if I confused you. I got caught up being around all these humans. It made me wonder. But none of that matters now. Demons do not get involved with their deals.”

Hurt flashed across her pretty features, making my chest twist. Just a few minutes ago, I’d wanted to tear apart those who had hurt her. And here I was, the aggressor.

“You never said that. I thought maybe you liked me.”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

She blinked rapidly, and I could actually feel the stab of pain, an echo of her own, sounding in my chest. “Judge, what’s going on? Did I miss something? Because…I’m sorry…”

“My name is not Judge.”

“Okay.” Her chin quivered, but she didn’t break at the tone in my voice. “Great. Then tell me the truth. The whole truth. What is your name?”

I growled, my claws extending as I stared around us. There was no one. This wasn’t the time, this wasn’t the place. But suddenly nothing else mattered. She needed to know who I was so that she would understand why I could never be with her like that. That I could never be that person to her. I was not worthy of a mate. Even if my mother had attempted to make me one with her magic, I was too dangerous.