Page 71 of Own It

“Okay then.” I nodded, hoping my true thoughts didn’t bleed out onto my face. When Kasia sighed, I asked, “Why the sigh?”

“He’s still got some growing up to do.” She ate some more food. “I’m only admitting this because you seem like the type to keep secrets and not be messy.”

“You’ve pegged me right.”

She lowered her voice, then said, “He’s got this toxic ass attachment to his other baby’s mother.”

“Oh hell no. So why are you with him?” When I watched her face change, I added, “I’m genuinely asking, not trying to convince you of anything.”

“The real answer is it’s harder than it sounds to just cut him off. However, he claims he’s done with her this time, so we’re going to see.”

“And if he isn’t?”

“I’m gonna be done with his ass for good. I promised myself, especially now that our daughter is older and can comprehend a lot of things she sees. I don’t want her to either grow up accepting the shit I have or not having any respect for me because she feels like I’m weak.”

I nodded, agreeing with Kasia. Like I knew, I liked her much better than Tarin. She didn’t try to make excuses for what she allowed Josias to do and didn’t blame anything on Tarin as Tarin had done her.

I didn’t have many friends, because a lot of the women I’d run across were either too self-absorbed, sneaky, or already had their core friend group, so I felt like an outcast. Morgin was my assistant who I on occasion hung out with, but the way she thought and moved through life put her in a do not befriend category. I liked to surround myself with like-minded people in my personal time. By saying that, I could see myself becoming cool with Kasia.

“I hope he knows you’re not playing this time.” I sipped some of my drink.

“If he doesn’t, that’s on him.” She shrugged, and something about her body language told me she wasn’t fucking around.

For Josias’s sake, I hoped he told Kasia he wasn’t messing with Tarin anymore after the boys’ father’s party, because if it was before, then the nigga was surely lying.

Kasia and I chatted for a bit longer, mainly about our careers and goals we had, to which I learned she was the manager of Russell’s—an upscale steakhouse out in West Hollywood. I’d been there a long time ago, and the food was amazing, so when she promised me that the next time I came, she would comp my food, I knew she and I would be close.

“I been looking for yo’ fine ass all night.” Josias walked up, gripping Kasia’s hand to make her stand and immediately hugging her body while groping her ass.

I watched her smile, giggle, and blush, letting me know how deep in she was. I wasn’t a judgmental person and had never been so head over heels for a man that it kept me from leaving when he fucked me over, so I wouldn’t use that against her.

Standing so I could give the couple some privacy since they were already tongue kissing, I journeyed into the kitchen that was now empty, the only light coming in from the window above the sink.

Rakim was standing near it, doing something on one of those flip phones he often disassembled or assembled.

“Why aren’t you out there in the mix with all the pretty girls?” I asked, nearing him and watching him smile down at me, slipping the phone into his pocket.

“It was only one pretty girl out there, and now she in here, so I really ain’t leaving,” he said, pulling me in and kissing my neck.

I could feel the way my body heated at his touch and the sound of his words. I noticed I was a different person with Rakim but in a good way. I wasn’t so tough and hard around him like I was with Shaun.

When the latter made mistakes, it would be nothing for me to get out of pocket and be disrespectful or become offended when he asked for things that I deemed misogynistic. But with Rakim, I couldn’t imagine speaking to him in that way because I guessed I respected him too much and was also a little bit afraid of him. And if he asked me to make his plate, I would probably be halfway done with it before he opened his mouth.

It made me feel like a terrible person thinking back on how much of a tough bitch I was with Shaun, but it was possibly due to how much of a man I felt he wasn’t at times. Rakim was all man.

“Kasia said she never sees you with a woman,” I threw out, trying to stop the feeling that Rakim was sending throughout my body by sucking on my neck and massaging my ass in this dress.

“I get my needs met as I explained, but nothing deep enough for Kasia to witness, especially since she ain’t often around a nigga.”

“When was the last time?”

“This morning,” he said, and I felt the paralysis seep in until he chuckled subtly. “I’m fucking with you. You care a lot about where I stick my dick, huh?”

“When?” I interrogated, unsure of why.

“Like a month ago, Day.” He pushed my hair behind my ears, seemingly drinking me in before he kissed me slowly but passionately.

With ease, he picked me up, putting my legs around him, and carried me off then up some stairs. We ended up in a large bedroom equipped with an en suite and vast balcony behind some double doors. The room was dark like the kitchen, only being illuminated by the moonlight.