Page 60 of Own It

“Thank you.” He chuckled and sat down on the bed with me, laptop in his lap.

“Do you miss it?” I queried.

“Sometimes, but I long ago accepted that, that part of my life was over, so it don’t bother a nigga as much.” He ran a hand down his beard as he eyed me. His eye contact made me nervous. “I let myself sulk for a bit once I got out of prison—some delayed depression ’cause that’s when it for real hit me—then I made myself get over that shit.”

“How long did you go to jail?”

“Prison, baby, big difference,” he corrected, looking off for a moment. “I got three and a half years with time served of four months, so about three years and two months, but they let me go a little early.”

I watched his side profile as he stared off while talking. He smelled so good that it made no sense.

“Do you regret what you did since she fucked you over and with your damn brother? I really don’t like her ass,” I had to tack on, and he laughed. I loved his laugh and his beautiful teeth.

Nothing like a dark-skinned man with a beautifully white smile.

For a moment, he was silent as if he were thinking on my question fully.

“Nah, because I chose to do what the fuck I did. She didn’t ask or convince me to. In fact, she wanted me to let the shit go.” His eyes landed on me, giving up his undivided attention. “I couldn’t though.” He shook his head. “Seeing how violated she felt and . . . yeah, I would’ve done it regardless of the aftermath, because at the time, I was her protector.”

I nodded, understanding and admiring him, even though I felt LaMia didn’t deserve it.

“Did she break your heart?”

“Daylin, got damn.” He smirked, shaking his head at me as we locked eyes. I loved looking at him.

“Did she?”

“She broke something in me, but I can’t be sure if it was my heart. I ain’t been right since though, so maybe she did. I wasn’t in love with her though. Would’ve given my life for her—obviously—treated her like gold, was loyal, and never took a shortcut on how I handled her. She had a lot of power over a nigga, and she used it.” He nodded, making me do the same.

“So you don’t love her, but do you want her back?”

“I don’t.”

Sitting up and squinting at him, causing him to smile, I asked, “So if she showed up right now and professed her love to you, you’d send her back to your brother?”

“In a heartbeat. If I were to ever be in a relationship again, I’d have to trust my woman. Loyalty is a big thing to me, and she lacks that shit in the worst way. I’m good.”

“Well, Rakim, you shouldn’t be alone for the rest of your life just because of one terrible relationship.”

“I won’t be alone. I just won’t be in a relationship. I love women and wouldn’t ever want to live a life where they weren’t involved in it, but as far as becoming invested and all that shit, nah.” He shook his head, and I wasn’t sure why his aversion to relationships bothered me when I was a taken woman.

“So use them for sex like most of these niggas then, huh?”

Chuckling, he replied, “Not use, baby. It’ll be a mutually beneficial situation and not always just sex. I like simple companionship too. Sometimes, though rare as fuck, having a conversation with a beautiful woman over dinner is enough. Other times . . .” He rocked his head from side to side. “Yeah, I just wanna put my dick down her throat. Just depends.”

When his whiskey brown eyes latched onto mine, I felt a heat travel right down between my legs, causing the heartbeat to revive itself from a few nights ago.

I’d never met a man like Rakim, and it was affecting me in the worst way. He was so intelligent and thought differently than most men I’d encountered. He was a little crazy but loved hard at the same time too.

“I see,” I damn near whispered.

“How you see my fights?”

“Looked them up just a moment ago on the computer.” I smirked.

“So instead of trying to secure a rescue, you was looking up my old matches?”

“What would be the point of wasting time trying to secure a rescue? I don’t even know the damn address to this place. I’m pretty sure it’s nowhere on the house because I looked when we returned from your father’s party.”