Page 223 of Own It

“Glad I left Daylin alone,” he said, and though it was probably too soon, the shit was still slightly funny.

THIRTY-ONE

josias

ONE MONTH LATER . . .

“You need some help putting ’em down?” I asked Tarin, making her scoff for some odd ass reason.

“What? You have time? You don’t need to run back to Kasia?” She rolled her eyes.

“Do you need the help or not, Tarin? I ain’t ever put a woman before my kids, not even their mothers, so don’t even play like that,” I chided.

“Yes. I need help.” She conceded.

I didn’t even have to offer her ass, since I’d had my kids all week and was simply dropping them off, but I saw her ass was tired—from what, I wasn’t sure—and decided to be helpful.

I felt bad, as I should have, that I was laid up with Kasia and Divine all the time, and therefore, Kasia had more help as of late. So even though I wasn’t fucking with Tarin sexually or emotionally, I still wanted to provide her mean ass with as much relief and assistance as I could to somewhat mimic having consistent help.

For the next hour, I helped Tarin put Julianna and Josias Jr. down to bed. While she bathed my daughter, I bathed him, and then we switched to read bedtime stories until both were knocked out.

After leaving Julianna’s room, I ventured to JJ’s in effort to kiss my baby boy goodnight before I left.

Emerging from the back and into the living room, I saw Tarin on the couch, sipping from a big ass wineglass and seemingly in deep thought.

“Good night. Let me know if they need something,” I said, making my way toward the door.

“So that’s it? You can’t kick it with me like you do her? All because I mistakenly accused you of something months ago?” She sat upright, placing the glass on the coffee table before her. “I apologized, Josias.”

“I explained to you it had nothing to do with being falsely accused, Tarin. I even told yo’ ass I understood. But to answer you, nah, we can’t kick it because that would be disrespectful to m—Kasia.”

“You can’t even call her your woman, and you’re dissing me? You haven’t talked to me about anything other than kids, nor have we fucked for months at this point, and all for a woman who you can’t even claim? You’re getting soft.” She scoffed, snatching her wine back up.

“Aight.” I opened the door, knowing she was doing her best to pull me into some fight and fuck session, but it wasn’t gon’ work.

I was too close to getting Kasia back, and nothing could make me ruin every fucking thing I’d worked for. Being simply co-parents with her had a nigga miserable, and it was a place I never wanted to revisit.

Not to mention, all this turmoil within my family, namely my father working his way into becoming a serial killer, put life into perspective. No longer would I waste my years and time just doing shit and fucking bitches who made me feel like the man to numb the pain. Life was too short and unpredictable to be spent with any woman other than Kasia Mosley.

“Fuck you, Josias! When I get another nigga and won’t give you the time of day, remember this shit!”

I said nothing, locking up the door and ambling to my vehicle.

I took a deep breath as I pulled off, hating what a nigga had done. But I had to remind myself I couldn’t change the past and could only make better decisions moving forward.

For now, I had to own the mistakes I’d made and not wallow in my thoughts about it. I could only pray Tarin would heal and focus more on being a mother to our son and daughter and less about us being an us.

Pulling into Kasia’s driveway half an hour later, I shut the engine down then climbed out. Retrieving my key, I hurried inside after seeing the time on my watch because I wanted to catch Divine before she fell asleep.

“You missed it.” Kasia giggled as soon as I was inside of the home.

“Fuck.” I groaned.

“You put her to bed every night, Jojo. It’s not that deep.” She walked out from the kitchen in some little ass shorts and an even smaller top.

“I know.” I descended onto the couch, and Kasia did the same, tossing her legs across my lap.

“You went and came right back,” she assessed, making me frown in confusion.