Page 191 of Own It

Declining to respond, I locked my phone and left the building to hop in my car.

I drove straight to the Godfrey Baking Co., parking and hurrying inside since I was a little late from taking phone calls from Kasia and then getting into that mini sparring match with Téa.

Washing my hands, I got right to work once I had some Jay Rock playing from my iPhone.

After working for a bit, I heard footsteps that appeared to be heeled and expected to see Raquel, the manager, entering, but instead it was Tarin with her face balled up.

Pausing the music, I attempted to ask, “What the fuck⁠—”

Tarin cleared a whole shelf of fresh bread in rage, cutting off my sentence.

“What—”

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” I roared, eyeing the fucking mess she made and pissed at the fact that all that new bread would have to be tossed since it’d touched the fucking floor.

“My friend told me she saw you kicking it at some bitch’s apartment like forty-five minutes ago!” She shoved me, but I didn’t budge because she was much too small to push on a big nigga like me. “And she told me that ho was pregnant!”

I was floored, trying to figure out what the fuck she was talking about, until I remembered dropping that money off to Téa. And the ho switching past me in the hallway was clearly the messenger. I was sure she left out how she was giving a nigga that energy like she wanted to get fucked while being so nosy.

“Man—”

“You got another bitch pregnant again!” Tarin screamed, face already covered in tears as her chest rose and fell rapidly.

I was about to dig in her ass, but the sight of how wounded and damaged she was, internally, halted me. She was shaking and every-fucking-thing, heaving and sobbing as she waited for my confirmation of probably her worst fucking nightmare.

“Aye, calm down.” I stepped toward her, but she moved away from me, sniffling. Her makeup was ruined that fucking quickly. I decided against trying to console her ass physically, recognizing that she didn’t want me to touch her right now. “The pregnant woman’s name is Téa, and she got pregnant by Zaire, before he died, obviously, so Rakim is taking care of her. He asked me to drop some bread off to her.”

“Yeah right!” Her pretty face bunched, annoyed as fuck.

“I swear. I don’t have no babies on the way. Whomever told you that shit don’t even know what the fuck they’re talking about. I put that shit on my twin, the girl I saw is Zaire’s baby mama.”

Tarin was still breathing heavily, but I could see that she was calming down as she wiped her face with the backs of her hands.

“Okay,” she whispered, looking down briefly and appearing to be embarrassed.

“Tarin.” I took her hands in mine now that she would allow me to touch her ass. “I can’t do this shit with you no more.”

Her head popped back up instantly, saying, “I’m sorry. When Nina told me what she saw, I was just so pissed I didn’t even give you a chance to explain.”

“Nah, I know, and that’s because of our history, Tarin.” I brushed the backs of her hands with my thumbs. “That shit is my fault. Not yours.” Shaking my head, I continued. “We toxic for each other, and I’ve hurt you too fucking much for us to be anything more than what we are right now, baby. And I want more than that. I want something solid and pure. I want to be in a relationship where when someone comes to my girl with shit like that, she know to ask me first instead of jumping to conclusions. And again, that’s my fault you be acting like that. You deserve a nigga that don’t make you think the worst of him every time a situation comes up, Tarin.”

“You want more in general or with Kasia?” She nibbled on her lip nervously, staring up into my eyes with a sorrowful expression and making a nigga wanna lie like usual.

Glancing off so I wouldn’t have to face her when I spit out the truth, I responded, “With Kasia.”

She nodded, more tears welling up in her eyes.

“You only want her, Jojo, because she’s this good girl and⁠—”

“Nah, that’s not it. I couldn’t care less about that shit. You a good girl too. Just ’cause you got a different background don’t make you bad. I’ve always wanted more with Kasia, but my trauma and vices were always more important and got in the fucking way. Growing up in a place where I was always belittled and made to feel less than made me seek out women who put me on pedestals. That was you.”

“What’s wrong with that?” She whimpered, eyes searching mine for the answer before my mouth could give it to her.

“Nothing.” I shook my head. “But shit was easy with you—too easy, and shit was hard with Kasia because she wanted me to be a real man and stop leaning on childhood trauma. She wanted me to be faithful, focused, seek some therapy, and stand up, but you ain’t try to make me do none of that.”

“I just wanted you to be yourself and be comfortable.”

I kissed her forehead gently and smirked.