Page 120 of Own It

“I’m sorry,” I told her, not even sure what the fuck I was apologizing for, but I knew this shit didn’t feel right for her.

“What happened?”

“Tried talking to him about putting his hands on LaMia, and like I knew, shit went left.” I looked up into her eyes, pushing her hair back before kissing her. She was slightly stiff, a far cry from the way she usually melted into a nigga. “It bother you? What I did?”

“Why did you do it? Was it genuine or to get back at Ayan or because you feel something for her?”

“I have never competed with Ayan. I wanted to be brothers, have one another’s back and shit like with Zaire and Jojo. He the one that got beef, so I don’t ever do shit to get back at him. That’s something I want you to understand immediately, Baby,” I explained, and she nodded. “I haven’t had feelings for LaMia since I found out she was playing house with my brother. I barely like her, but what’s right is right, and growing up in a household where grown men sat up and ignored my mother getting fucked up by Nate’s big ass, I can’t do the same shit. That’s not in me. I don’t fuck with Ayan, but I love his kids, and they don’t need to see that shit. Nor do they deserve to have three uncles—now two—sit by while their mama gets her face punched in.”

Since childhood all the way to now, I recognized that I had difficulty ignoring violence toward women. Even the times I should’ve and wanted to mind my fucking business, I couldn’t if I witnessed some shit. I hated that about myself.

“Okay.”

“I ain’t all there, Baby, and if I gave a fuck about LaMia and Ayan being together, I would’ve been put a bullet in him.”

“You also wouldn’t have been able to be so cordial and unbothered like you are.” She pressed her nose to mine before kissing me. This time, she melted like always, and I needed that.

“You the only woman I care about, and as much as it would fuck with me, if you take issue with me pressing him for her, I won’t touch that shit no more.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I like that you chose to say something. Most men turn blind eyes like what you experienced as a child.” She raked her nails through my beard. “I wanna tell you something.”

“Aight.” I sat back against the couch, so she straddled me.

“Ayan tried to get with me the day I brought you food to the boxing gym.” I was silent, so she continued. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to get upset and do something to imperil your freedom.” I still hadn’t said a word, trying to tamper down the fury that was rising within me like a gas fire. My hands ached to commit another murder.

“He touch you?” I asked as collectedly as my mind would allow.

“Not at all.” Cupping my face and making me look her in the eyes, Daylin added, “Ignore it, Rah. Ayan will forever want what you have, but I am not nor will I ever be LaMia. Ayan couldn’t hold a candle to you, but even if he was better than you in every way, I would still choose you.”

I sat up, hugging her body as she embraced my neck. Laying my head against her chest, I closed my eyes, replaying her words and realizing a nigga had never been told such a thing.

“In all the fucking bad luck I’ve had, how did I run across enough luck to get you, baby?”

Kissing my head, she asked, “Was it luck or kidnapping?”

Chuckling along with her as I tightened my grip, I said, “Still.”

Tilting my head back to peer down into my eyes, she fused her lips to mine slowly, then said, “I can’t say, babe, but I’m pretty sure I’m luckier than you.”

For now, Ayan could live. ’Cause if or when I did come for that nigga, shit had to go perfectly because I refused to lose everything I’d rebuilt to sit behind bars for the rest of my days over his ass.

* * *

Entering the back of Godfrey Baking Co. with Josias trailing me, I nodded to say ‘what’s up’ to Mylo before quickly checking in with Raquel in her office. Upon returning, I guided Mylo and Josias into the soundproof office of my own.

“What you find?” I questioned Mylo.

“Nothing unfortunately. I⁠—”

“Man, what the fuck is you even good for?” Josias sized Mylo up, chest out like he wanted the fade.

“Aye, calm yo’ ass down.” I placed a hand on Josias’s chest to back his ass away from Mylo.

“Fuck off me!” Josias knocked my hand down off him, making me hop back in his face since he thought shit was sweet. “This nigga over here bullshitting around while we was in Vegas and you letting him!”

“So why you ain’t bring yo’ ass back home and help then, nigga? I don’t know what side of the bed you woke up on this morning, but you better check yo’ muthafuckin’ self next time you even contemplate stepping to me, nigga. You not ’bout to come in here locc’ing up on every fucking body like you king ’round this bitch. Calm yo’ ass the fuck down and understand we all got the same damn goal, Jojo.” I bolted my eyes to his, following them every time he bounced them around my face with his lips balled up.

Finally, he conceded, bobbing his head and falling down onto the love seat within my office.