Page 1 of A Hal for my Heart

Prologue

Briar

I couldn’t believe it. I was actually winning! My legs pumped faster and faster as I stormed forward, escaping Terrance’s grip. My smile widened, a sense of power coursing through my body, the sun warm on my skin as I kept going and going. Normally, my short legs would hinder any progress, especially when I was playing with the alphas, but not today. Today I felt lighter and faster than ever.

“Not fair!” Terrance whined as I laughed with glee, finally able to best them.

I reached the tree we used as our safe spot, touched the bark, and yelled, “I won!” as pride soared in my chest.

My laughter soon died, though, the wide smile freezing on my lips. Father was approaching me and the alphas at a furious pace. My older brother Sin walked next to him, and even from a distance, his eyes told me all I needed to know: Father was angry.

“Briar!” Father’s commanding voice brimmed with disappointment, his posture straight and foreboding as he encroached on me. I remained frozen in place, no longer feeling free and happy, while the alphas recoiled in obvious fear. My father, who was one of the king’s advisors, was known by everyone at the royal palace for his unpredictable temper and ruthless treatment of alphas. Like a storm cloud, he had a way of chasing happiness away, always keeping Sin and me under strict watch. Today he’d been busy, though, with King Sebastian, and I’d managed to slip away for a few precious hours of freedom.

“Briar,” Father repeated, now looming over me, shielding me from the sun’s warmth, casting me in the darkness of my impending punishment. For an omega, he was big, or maybe it just felt that way; his personality so imposing and suffocating. “I expected better of you.”

I winced as I started trembling. I hated disappointing Father. I wanted to be a good son to him, but with all his strict rules and the recent knowledge of my curse, it was getting harder and harder to navigate. “But—” I tried, swallowing back my fear. “My curse—”

“Will come into effect on your sixteenth birthday, and thus you should keep your distance from others. Don’t you realize the danger you’ll soon be putting them in? Are you really that selfish that you do not care if you hurt other people?” His words hit me like sharp arrows, tearing into me, and it felt like I was bleeding internally. It wasn’t like I hadn’t heard them before, but as I got closer to my sixteenth birthday, their effect on me was becoming increasingly more overwhelming. I knew I couldn’t escape my fate, the curse, but for a few blessed moments of freedom, I’d forgotten.

“I don’t think Briar meant to—” Sin started.

“No one asked you!” Father boomed, lifting his hand in the air above my brother’s head in a threatening gesture. Sin immediately retreated a few steps backward, curling in on himself. He sent me a sad look, his face mirroring my own resignation.

“But Father…” I tried to steer his attention away from my brother.

“No! You need to avoid all manner of touch! I don’t care whether they’re omegas or alphas. You stay away, you hear me, Briar?!” His voice shook with anger, his eyes dark and cold as he glared at me. “You need to get used to it before the consequences become irreversible.”

My heart sank. There was no point in pleading my case to Father. He never listened anyway. I nodded, my eyes downcast. Tears began forming, but I forced them back as I swallowed my sadness. Father hated tears. They were a sign of weakness and lack of character, which he never failed to remind Sin and me.

“Good. Let’s go back inside. You need to practice your writing skills.” He threw a disdainful glare at my alpha playmates. “Something these alphas wouldn’t understand.” Then, as if they weren’t standing right next to us, he continued, “If you keep surrounding yourself with these simpleminded creatures, you’ll become like them. You are an omega, Briar. You are superior. Never forget that.”

“Yes, Father,” I whispered, then followed him silently, not daring to meet Sin’s gaze. I didn’t want to see my brother’s pity and his own desperation. Although Sin was my father’s firstborn, and until recently, the golden child, my brother was just as much a prisoner in his own life as I was. He, too, was watched and judged every second as he prepared himself to become a royal advisor when our father one day retired.

While Sin wasn’t the cursed brother, it was obvious that something had happened that had made Sin lose our Father’s favor. There were different rumors around the palace about what had happened, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask Sin. These days, he looked like his life had ended. I didn’t want to add to his unhappiness by asking him about it. Besides, I had my own troubles with the family curse I’d only just learned about six months earlier.

One day, Father had called me into his office, which wasn’t unusual. Sometimes he would complain about my homework or my horse-riding skills. For once, he didn’t look annoyed, just stoic, a worried frown between his dark eyebrows. In a flat voice, he told me he couldn’t put it off any longer. He had to let me know of my fate as the second-born child. He told me a curse ran in our family, and had for generations. It would come into effect when I turned sixteen. My father had been torn, he told me, about when to tell me. He’d wanted me to have a happy childhood, he said, but now it was time. I deserved to know the truth so I could prepare myself. I hadn’t exactly had a happy childhood, but I knew I’d enjoyed more freedom than my brother. I held my breath while Father explained to me what the curse meant and how it was going to change my life drastically. In the blink of an eye, it felt like my heart stopped beating and my future crumbled before me. I would never be able to be with an alpha. All my heats would be spent alone. I would never be able to bear any children of my own. The curse would strike any adult alpha I as much as touched, let alone spent my heats with. They would die. I would be like poison to them. I didn’t ask any questions that day or since. I knew better than to question my father’s authority. I left his office in a state of numbness as I tried to come to terms with my new reality.

“Briar!” Impatience lingered in my father’s voice. Risking one last longing gaze back at my alpha friends, I hurried after him. My days of friendly hugs and playing tag were over. My days of dreaming of one day having my own family, playing with my own children, belonged in the past. My future held nothing but solitude. Wrapping my arms around myself, I pretended it was someone else’s hug, someone who cared about me. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Perhaps in time, I’d get used to being alone. Possibly, I would even find purpose or meaning, and life would be okay for me, somehow.

Chapter One

Briar

Why couldn’t I breathe? I was vaguely aware of my butt hitting the carpet as I slid down my bedroom door, my hands gripping my neck frantically in despair.

I’d touched Hal. An alpha. And not just any alpha, but Gus’ best friend. I’d doomed a perfectly nice alpha to a painful death because I’d been careless. No, not careless. Selfish. When Hal’s kind brown eyes had glimmered with warmth, it’d felt like a momentary spell had been cast over me. In a daze, I’d leaned closer and accepted his offered hand. I couldn’t even blame it on habit, because I never touched anyone, ever. I could touch omegas and alphas who hadn’t come of age yet, but, like Father never ceased to remind me, it was best I kept my distance. In the beginning, I’d struggled, but now it was just part of who I was. Right up until today. Now this poor alpha would die because of me and my curse, all because I’d been so mesmerized by his disarming smile and gentle eyes.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I banged my head back against the door as I tried to get my breathing under control.

I’d dropped Hal’s hand the second I realized my fatal mistake, then fled from the room as King Sebastian and Consort Gus welcomed Gus’ omega family to the royal palace. I couldn’t stay to witness the light in Hal’s eyes dim as he died a horrible death because of me. I was a coward. I knew that, and now, as I stared at my empty chambers, I realized just how lonely I was. Father was the only one who knew about the curse, and he had recently been exiled from the kingdom because of his betrayal of the king. Sin, my older brother, also knew, but he’d been banished to the countryside many years ago because he’d disgraced Father. I hadn’t seen Sin since. Not even when Father had told the whole palace that I was staying with my brother when King Sebastian had gone into heat. In reality, I’d been sent to an omega family thirty minutes away, my entire stay with them nothing but education. Father had packed me plenty of books and journals so I could prepare to one day take over his role as a royal advisor instead of Sin. I had no idea why Father had lied about my whereabouts. He wouldn’t even tell me what Sin had done that was so awful he’d been banished from the palace. I missed my older brother and could’ve really used him now. I had no one to share my selfish and horrible deed with. No one to help or comfort me. No one to hug, not ever.

God, what I wouldn’t give for a hug and a soft-spoken word of comfort right now.

I wondered if Hal had already drawn his last breath. I’d been so careful since my sixteenth birthday, never once messing up. I had no clue how soon my cursed touch would take effect. Would it be seconds, hours, or days, even? Father had warned me that alphas would meet a horrible death filled with unfathomable agony within seconds, but how would he know exactly? Over the years, I’d come to terms with my life, deprived of touch and closeness, but my heats were something I didn’t think I’d ever get used to. They were the worst part of my life, always lonely and painful, until now, because this was worse. The knowledge that I had failed and someone would die because of me was unbearable.

A loud knock on my door had me yelping forward, clutching my now erratically beating heart as I slowly rose from the floor. One awful image after another filled my head, the palace in great upheaval following Hal’s unexpected death. Gus would hate me, Seb, too.

I slowly opened the door, my legs unsteady, nausea curling in my stomach. A mix of relief, horror, and guilt washed over me as I took in Hal, standing right in front of me, alive and breathing. He smiled at me warily, his eyes careful.