Page 123 of Viking

Hadley is curled up on layers of blankets and pillows piled on the rug in front of us, her small fingers wrapped around a juice box. She’s wearing a cute little pajama set with tiny hearts on it. Her blonde hair is pulled into pigtails, and she’s flipping through a picture book, occasionally saying the words she recognizes out loud in her sweet voice. Echo, her favorite stuffed bear, is snuggled in beside her. It’s impossible not to smile at her innocence.

Alinna lounges on the other side of the couch with a glass of wine in hand, the red liquid catching the light as she swirls it lazily. She just got back from Syria a couple nights ago and looks like she hasn’t had a full night’s sleep in months. Ivy is next to me, her legs stretched out in front of her on the ottoman we pulled flush against the couch, nursing a glass of white wine. Her usually sharp amber eyes seem distant, as if her mind is somewhere far away, maybe on the conversation we’ve been circling for the last few minutes: Kyler.

My phone buzzes in my lap. I try to ignore it. I try to focus on my friends. But my pulse races at the idea of the smallest connection to Logan, even through pixels and distance.

It’s his name that flashes across my screen.

Ivy narrows her eyes, a small knowing smile appearing on her pretty face.

LOGAN: Hey, sweetheart. We made it. I won’t be able to talk much, but I wanted to let you know, I’m safe.

“It’s Logan,” I say quietly, more to excuse myself than to inform them. It’s my polite way of letting them know I’m gone, pulled into a different world.

LILA: Hi! I’m so happy you’re safe. I know no news is good, but I still worry.

LOGAN: You don’t need to worry.

LILA: Like that will stop me.

I watch the screen, waiting, my breath snagging in my chest. Minutes tick by before my phone lights up with his reply.

LOGAN: I miss you.

LOGAN: What are you wearing right now?

I choke on my wine, coughing as Alinna lifts an eyebrow. “Are you okay?” She says the words slowly, stretching out the syllables.

I wave her off, my face burning. “Yep. Totally fine.”

LILA: Bold statement, Captain. Shouldn’t you be doing something important?

LOGAN: I am. Conducting a morale check. Answer the question.

I try to keep my expression neutral, but the way my stomach flips makes it impossible. I force my focus back onto my friends.

Alinna is looking at Ivy with sympathy, her eyebrows pulled together. “How long’s it been since he saw Hadley?”

“It’s only been a few days since they’ve FaceTimed, but it’s been almost two weeks since he’s seen her. He was here visiting when he got the call,” Ivy replies, her voice flat, almost defeated. She glances down at her glass, swirling the wine before bringing it to her lips again. “This one’s supposed to be less than a month.” She shakes her head. “But I don’t really know. He doesn’t tell me anything anymore.”

Kyler has the kind of job most people only read about in books or see in movies. It’s elite, secretive, and dangerous. He’s one of the ones called in when everything else has failed. A Tier 1 operator trained for some of the most high-stakes missions, yet he couldn’t handle the pressure of a marriage. I guess I just don’t know how anyone could live that life and not crave the normalcy of going home to a loving family.

I feel the weight of her words, the unsaid parts that hang heavy in the air. “I’m sorry, Ivy,” I say softly, reaching over to squeeze her hand. She gives me a half smile, her lips thin, but it’s a smile nonetheless. I can’t shake the feeling that there are things she isn’t sharing.

“I know,” she says, her voice catching for a moment. I don’t miss the faraway look in her eyes. “It’s just, he’s been gone more than he’s been here this past year. And even though I guess we weren’t good for each other, I—I miss him. I really do.”

Alinna nods, her eyes full of understanding. “It’s hard, especially when it feels like a part of you is just…vanishing. But you deserve a man who puts you first. Who didn’t leave you to pick up the pieces on your own.”

Ivy takes another sip of her wine, her expression unreadable. She opens and closes her mouth a few times without any words coming out. Then. “I thought he was that man.” She exhales slowly, looking down at Hadley, who’s now watching Cinderella, her book forgotten beside her. “I just…don’t know what to do with this space. I’m so used to him being around, even if he was distant or away. He still felt like a part of us, like he’d be right back. Our home here, it’s just so…quiet. So empty. I think that’s why I let him back in. Why I let us play pretend.”

I watch Hadley as she holds Echo up and giggles to herself. She’s oblivious to the weight of our conversation, and for a moment, it’s a relief to focus on her. I listen to Ivy talk about the empty spaces Kyler’s left behind, but struggle to keep my mind off where Logan is leading our conversation.

My skin prickles, heart hammering as I finally type back.

LILA: Fine. Your T-shirt. And nothing else.

The second I hit send, I regret it. Sort of. But only because it isn’t true. I snort, quickly flipping my phone face down on the couch. But the blush is already creeping up my neck, giving me away.

Alinna narrows her blue eyes at me. “Why do you look like that?”