Page 9 of Back to Square One

It was a statement, not a question, and Justine nodded. She glanced at Rowan, still smiling. “Bits and pieces, huh?”

“Bits and pieces,” Rowan said with a nod.

Justine wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze.

“Smells amazing in here,” Stevie said, coming through the sliding glass door.

“Grab a seat,” Justine said. “Rowan and I have breakfast covered.”

Half an hour later, everybody was sitting around the enormous dining room table eating Greek eggs and dipping sourdough bread into the seasoned olive oil as it mixed with the yolks from them. There was a span of a good two or three minutes when the only sounds in the room were hums of approval as they ate, and suddenly, Lizzie burst out laughing.

“Listen to us. We sound like cavemen.” She grunted at her dish and lowered her voice to a guttural sound. “Food good.”

Laughter went around the table because she wasn’t wrong. “I mean, I don’t even care to see any of you,” Stevie said. “I’m only here for Justine’s Greek eggs. Fuck all of you.”

More laughter. Becca burst out with an insulted gasp while Lizzie threw a napkin at Stevie, and Rowan simply sat there smiling. Her friends. Her people. She loved this group of women. She was so happy to be there, with them, and yet she still felt a hole. Not in her memory, but in her heart.

I don’t love you anymore.

She swallowed hard and shoved the sentence away into a dark corner. She’d have to deal with it at some point—she should probably tell Stevie about it—or maybe she could keep it tucked away until she got back and could talk to her therapist about it.

“What are we doing today?” Becca’s voice pulled Rowan back to the table and the people seated around it. With a glance at Lizzie, Becca asked, “Are we taking the boat out?”

“Hundred percent,” Lizzie said with a nod, chewing a bite of bread.

“Tubing!” Becca said, throwing both hands in the air.

“We can do that. Raging river rapids or lazy lake floating?”

Becca seemed to ponder that before making a decision. “Can we do a little of both? I just wanna be in the water. It’s already stupid hot out.”

“Hundred percent,” Lizzie said again.

They made a plan, then cleaned up their breakfast mess, rinsing dishes, filling up the dishwasher, then scattering to various corners of the house to get supplies, agreeing to meet out on the dock in fifteen minutes.

Rowan headed up to her room after realizing she’d put on her bathing suit but had completely neglected sunscreen. As a ginger girl, she’d need it if she didn’t want to become red as a fire engine out there in the sunshine. She slathered herself, then put the sunscreen in her small tote bag, along with a hat, a towel, and a bottle of water. The house was empty as she headed down the stairs, so she went straight outside and down to the dock. As she approached, she could hear Stevie’s quiet voice.

“Can’t help them along. She’s gotta remember on her own.” Stevie turned to see her. “There she is. Ready?”

“Yup. Let’s do this.” She grabbed Stevie’s hand and stepped onto the boat. She took a seat in the front, ahead of the driver’s seat. It had always been her spot as a kid, too, when her grandpa had taken her out on his boat. In the front, you couldn’t hear what anybody was saying. The wind was too much. But she liked it that way. She wouldn’t be forced into conversation. It wasn’t quite the same on this boat, because it wasn’t a speedboat, and they wouldn’t necessarily be flying across the lake, but still. The front was her favorite spot.

The boat was good sized, with plenty of seats for everybody. Two inner tubes were tied to a ledge on the back, there was a half roof that offered a bit of shade, and a cooler sat on the floor near the passenger seat. Rowan knew it would be filled with beer, water, and maybe some seltzer or soda. A bag of various munchies sat next to it.

Stevie untethered the boat, then jumped aboard as Lizzie started the motor, and its gentle hum could be felt through Rowan’s feet on the floor of the boat. They chugged slowly sideways, away from the dock, until they were far enough away to begin to turn, and soon, they were chugging out toward the center of the lake.

Rowan slipped on her sunglasses and inhaled deeply, her lungs filling with fresh air, the scents of water, seaweed, and fish layered within it, reminding her where she was. Nobody talked for long moments, and she wondered if each of them was settling, relaxing, the way she was. She adjusted her position, leaning back and lounging, her legs stretched out and her head back, and when Lizzie pushed the throttle a bit, the front of the boat lifted slightly, and they picked up speed.

The wind in her face, the blue sky overhead, the sun shining down…it was all perfect. Rowan felt her body relax—not just her muscles, but inside, the inside of her relaxed—and for the first time since her accident, she felt almost like herself again.

They stayed out on the water for several hours. Some of them took turns tubing. Rowan normally would have, but the bouncing made her nervous, given her head injury. “Probably a good idea not to jiggle my brain inside my skull any more for a while,” she said when Becca tried to prod her into taking a turn.

“Oh, good point.” Becca frowned. “I didn’t think of that. Sorry.”

“No need,” Rowan said with a smile. “It won’t be forever. Just till I’m fully recovered. But you have my permission to take my turn.”

Becca gave a happy whoop and headed back to the tube. And when everybody who wanted to tube had, more than once, they dropped anchor and simply chilled. Some of them went swimming in the lake, or floated on a tube, while others stretched out to catch some rays. It was all wonderful.

“How are we doing?” Stevie asked softly, spreading her towel out on the lounge seat across from Rowan’s. Lizzie, Becca, and Jazzy were all in the water. Justine was stretched out in the back of the boat reading.