Page 16 of Back to Square One
“Isn’t it?” Rowan said. “I mean, I’m not wrong.”
“I like it,” Justine chimed in.
“As a chef, I would expect you to have a more refined palate than the rest of us,” Rowan said.
“Or just worse taste,” Evie added, pointing at her.
“Or that,” Rowan agreed, and they all laughed, and it was almost normal. Almost. There was a moment—just a split second really—where Rowan didn’t have amnesia and Evie hadn’t shattered her world into a million tiny pieces and they were all just friends out wine tasting, the way they’d done a dozen times.
If only there was a way she could hold on to that.
But there wasn’t, and when the laughter died down, she was left with a sad smile on her face and a glass of wine she didn’t really like.
“Okay, what’s next?” Justine asked, clearly trying to pick the mood back up as she took Rowan’s glass and dumped it into her own.
“Our Pinot Noir,” said the bartender, and she began pouring.
By the next winery, Justine had stopped tasting so she could drive, and Rowan had loosened up enough to not be questioning everything that was said or every time Evie inched closer.
“God, this is fun,” she said, then was surprised that she’d said it out loud.
Justine wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Stevie said you haven’t been able to have any alcohol for a while.”
“I mean, I can. But I was on a lot of medication in the beginning.” She swirled the Gewürztraminer in her glass. “It’s tapered off a bit, though, so I’m not as worried about it.” She met Justine’s gaze and added, “Don’t tell my mom,” and gave her a look of panic.
Justine laughed and crossed her heart with a finger. “Promise.”
“When will you be off all of it?” That was Evie. She was standing slightly behind Rowan, so she heard her voice without seeing her.
“A few more weeks, I think.” Rowan held up her glass. “But God, I have missed wine.”
Jasmine touched her glass to Rowan’s. “To wine.” Then she laughed. “Okay, that was a lame toast.”
“There’s no such thing as a lame toast,” Evie said. “Rowan taught me that.” Those brown eyes met Rowan’s. “Right?”
“Right.” Rowan swallowed hard because what the hell was happening? She set her glass down. “Gotta hit the ladies’ room. BRB.”
Okay, so she was slightly tipsy. She could admit that, as she headed for a hallway with a sign that indicated the restrooms were down it. A minute. She just needed a minute away from Evie’s eyes and Evie’s smile and Evie’s scent and Evie’s voice because Christ on a unicycle, it was all messing with her. Things she remembered. Things she didn’t. Evie, all smiles and little touches, and if Rowan didn’t know what she knew, she’d wonder if they were still together.
In the restroom, she splashed some cold water on her face, fixed the hairs that had escaped her ponytail, and generally stared herself down in the mirror.
“Just get your shit together, Thomas,” she whispered to her reflection, leaning with both hands on the sink.
Another moment, then she took a deep breath, held it in for a count of four, and let it out slowly, silently thanking her therapist for the zillionth time.
“Okay. Better.” She pushed back to standing, gave her neck a stretch, and headed back out, feeling just the tiniest bit stronger.
By the time they finished that tasting, they decided they’d had enough and should head back to the Airbnb. Justine had some dinner prep to do. Jazzy wanted to be by the water. Rowan should take a quick nap, but being by the water sounded too enticing, so she asked Jazzy if she could join her.
As they entered the house, Claire was there waiting for them, and she beelined straight for Evie.
“Can I talk to you? Upstairs?” she asked. She shot a sidelong glance Rowan’s way, then must’ve realized it and quickly smiled at her. The smile was cool and a little on the icier side.
Evie sighed but followed Claire up the stairs, and as soon as she was away from Rowan, the air seemed to clear, as if Evie had been taking some of the oxygen and Rowan’s breaths were shorter. She inhaled deeply, feeling herself center a bit.
