Page 14 of Back to Square One

Rowan grinned at the brevity of it, because she knew how hard it was for her mother not to ask her a million questions—was she taking her meds, was she getting naps in, how were the headaches, was she drinking enough water, was she going easy on the alcohol, and on and on and on. Instead, she’d sent two simple words, and Rowan knew that had to be killing her.

It’s going great, she typed. Lots of fun. Went out on Lizzie and Justine’s boat yesterday, but it’s overcast today, so heading into town.

She didn’t add that she was going wine tasting or she’d get a lecture on how she needed to be careful mixing alcohol with her medication, which she knew because she wasn’t a child.

How’s Kevin? Is he being a good boy? She added a cat emoji.

He’s fine. Wow, his poop stinks, though.

Rowan laughed at that. It’s poop, Mom, of course it does. Give him a kiss for me and tell him I miss him.

As she finished up the conversation and slid the phone back into her pocket, she felt footsteps on the dock before she even heard them, and then there was Evie. In all her gorgeous glory. Evie Price. The love of her life.

“Your mom?” Evie asked with a knowing grin.

Rowan nodded. “Checking in.”

“She driving you crazy?” Evie knew Rowan’s mother almost as well as Rowan did.

“Little bit.”

A smile and a nod.

“Came to tell you your breakfast is ready.”

Rowan forced herself to look at Evie’s face. “You could’ve just shouted for me.”

“I know.”

Silence then, as they stood looking at each other for a moment and Rowan remembered this feeling, being held in Evie’s gaze, almost cradled in it, being her focus. She remembered how important, how loved that had made her feel. It was almost too much now, and Rowan had to consciously tear her gaze away and force her feet to move as she whispered a thank you and headed toward the stairs. Legs leaden, it took every bit of energy she had to leave Evie on the dock, but she did it.

The omelette was delicious—and each bite hit her stomach like a stone. She was on her fourth bite when Evie came in, gave her a sad smile, and moved toward the stairs.

Justine watched it happen, waited until Evie was clearly all the way upstairs, then turned to Rowan. “You okay?”

Rowan nodded.

“I know this can’t be easy for you.” She kept her voice low. Jasmine was nowhere to be found, so it was just the two of them. “Seeing her..”

Gazing into her coffee, Justine asked, “What do you need? Can I do anything?”

And while they were both kind of ridiculous questions, Rowan appreciated her concern more than she could verbalize. Instead, she simply shook her head. “No. I can deal. This is probably good for me. Getting used to being around her again.” Even just saying the words made her stomach flip enough to push the plate away this time. Getting used to being around her. Evie. The one who didn’t love her anymore. What fun. “I’m guessing this is why I haven’t come the past two years.”

Justine nodded and gave her a sad smile. “Nobody blamed you, but we did miss you.”

Rowan sighed quietly.

“Wine will help.”

When Rowan glanced at Justine, she was grinning. “Worth a try, right?” Indicating the plate with her eyes, she said, “Thanks for this.”

“You’re welcome.” Justine pushed her chair back. “I’m gonna go down and grab my stuff. We’ll head out by eleven?”

“Perfect.” She watched Justine head down to the lower level, and then there was a moment when she was alone, when she had the entire first floor to herself. She could hear the muffled sounds of Evie upstairs and Jazzy and Justine downstairs, but for the most part, she was alone.

She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. The breathing exercise had been one her therapist had given her for when she started to panic, whether from not being able to remember something or from pain and frustration over her injury. Stopping and focusing on her breath really did seem to calm things, and this time was no different.

When she opened her eyes again, she felt better. Calmer. Less freaked. Feeling a sense of relief, she took her dishes to the kitchen, rinsed them, and put them into the dishwasher. It was pretty full, so she set it to run.