Page 1 of Back to Square One

Chapter One

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Rowan Thomas’s mother glanced out the window on Friday morning at the car that had just honked its arrival. Then she looked at Rowan with that same overly worried look she’d carried since bringing Rowan home from the hospital four weeks ago—eyes slightly wider than normal, brow a little furrowed, the sides of her mouth just a bit downturned, almost a frown but not quite, like she ended up frowning because she was concentrating so hard on not frowning.

“Mom. I need this.” Rowan had to work to keep her voice neutral because the truth was, her mom was driving her nuts. She ran a hand down her mother’s arm. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

Kelly Thomas didn’t look even remotely convinced, but to her credit, she gave one nod. “Okay. But I’ll be right here. If you need anything—and I mean anything—you call me. I’ll be there in a flash.”

Rowan didn’t point out that the lake was almost three hours away, so there was no way her mom could get there “in a flash.” Instead, she nodded and promised she’d call if she needed anything. The door opened then, thank fucking God, and Stevie Donahue waltzed in, all tall and tanned and tattooed. She smiled at Rowan, then wrapped her in a tight hug—something new that had come out of the whole fiasco, these hugs—then let her go.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Rowan said, her hand still on Stevie’s arm. She tried hard to school her features so her face didn’t read Please get me the hell out of here right this very second, which was what she was feeling in that moment. But Stevie seemed to get it, even as she bent to give Rowan’s mom a kiss on the cheek.

“Mrs. T. How are you?”

“Nervous,” Rowan’s mom said with a grimace. “Worried. Thinking this is a terrible idea.”

Yeah, don’t sugarcoat it or anything, Mom.

“Don’t you worry. I will take care of our girl. She’s gonna be with me the whole time. I won’t let her out of my sight. I promise.” Stevie crossed her heart and gave Rowan’s mom that smile that had charmed a multitude of women over the years. It had always worked on Kelly Thomas, and today was no exception.

With a sigh, Rowan’s mom gave them a dismissive wave. “Fine. Fine. Go. Before I change my mind.”

Again, Rowan didn’t point out that she was thirty-six years old, and her mom had no say in what she could or could not do, but circumstances were extenuating here, and the last thing she wanted to do was make her mom feel bad for worrying.

Stevie pointed at the suitcase and grocery bags near the door. “These going?” At Rowan’s nod, she began taking things out to the car.

“Kevin.” Rowan bent down to the gray tabby cat that had been sitting and watching all the activity with his big green eyes, and she scooped him up in her arms. “You be a good boy, okay?” She nuzzled his soft fur and kissed his head. “No parties, no strippers. I mean it.” More kisses. “Listen to your grandma. Don’t give her a hard time. Make sure you give her some snuggles so she’s not lonely.” Another kiss as he rubbed his face against her jawline. “And if you have to puke, do it on the hardwood and not the carpet. Okay?” One more kiss to the very top of his head, right between his ears, and she set him down, then turned to her mom. “Easy on the treats, okay? He’s getting chubby.”

Her mom lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “I make no promises.”

“Mom,” she warned, then pulled her mother into a hug, felt her arms tighten almost painfully around her.

“You be careful,” her mother whispered in her ear.

“I will.”

“And call me.”

“I will.”

“Take your meds.”

“Promise.”

When they finally parted, Stevie was back for the last bag. “Ready?”

With a nod, she grabbed her purse and tossed her mom a wave. “Bye.”

“Have fun,” her mother said, with little conviction. “And be careful.” That line came out with much more certainty.

Once she and Stevie were tucked into Stevie’s truck and buckled in, Rowan gave one last wave to her mom, who stood framed in the screen door of Rowan’s little house. “God, what must it feel like to be as worried about somebody as my mom is worried about me?”

“We can’t know unless we have our own kids, I guess,” Stevie said as she shifted the truck into gear and pulled out of the driveway.

“Her worry for me makes me worried for her,” Rowan said. “It’s a vicious cycle.”

“I get it. But, Ro, she’s worried because you could’ve died. Cut her some slack, okay?”