Page 42 of Earthbound

He knew she thought he was lonely, but the truth was, he wasn’t. He’d been by Lettle’s side this whole time.

The first night after Lettle had left, Rayan had been plagued by nightmares about her journey. He’d woken filled with regret for all the things he wished he had said, all the things he wished he’d done.

Kissed her, held her, whispered how much he loved her.

Told her that I had forgiven her.

He’d realised it during one particularly harrowing night terror, where Lettle had fallen five hundred feet to her death. He’d run down the cliff’s path to reach her, only to find her barely breathing.

‘Lettle,’ he’d sobbed in his dream. ‘Stay with me, please, stay with me. I can’t live without you. I don’t care that you lied to me, I don’t care that you will one day kill me. Please, Lettle.’

He had cried against her chest until her breathing rattled to an end.

I don’t want to live without her, he’d thought as he’d awoken, his cheeks wet with grief. The trust between them had fractured, but they could mend it. They had to.

Or this will be the thing that kills me; the pain of not being loved by her.

So that morning he’d gone to the boundary edge and stood by the tunnel that led to the world beyond. He was so close to following Lettle out, turning his back on Mosima and everyone in it.

But to do so would condemn them to death. He could not leave for long periods of time without causing untold devastation to the city. They’d be forced to evacuate, straight into the front line of the elven army.

Let me go, Ajax had said. I will make sure nothing befalls her.

She cannot know you are there. He wasn’t sure how their time apart had changed her. After all, she’d been the one to insist that she go on this journey.

She will not see me, Ajax said.

Only intervene if necessary.

So off Ajax went, following Lettle at a distance. Rayan would spend hours of the day watching her through his obeah’s eyes. It was part of why he often retreated to his royal chambers. There he wouldn’t be bothered, there he could be with his love.

He took the stairs to his rooms two at a time.

Ajax, where are you now?

Lettle has entered the cave where Alder was found, I am watching her, Ajax replied.

How was the journey? Rayan was annoyed that preoccupation with the Flare Feast had kept him from following along.

She fell from the cliff, but I was able to help her.

Rayan stumbled as he crossed the threshold to his room. An image of Lettle dying flashed across his vision. She fell? Was she hurt?

She hurt her head, but she was well enough to make the rest of the journey.

And now they’re in the cave?

Yes.

The air in the royal chambers was stale with the smell of old food and discarded clothing. Rayan had banned servants from attending ever since he’d brought all of his work up from the war room. He couldn’t afford for any of his notes to go missing.

He went around the room lighting the torches with a flint. The flames vanquished the darkness, revealing the table in the centre of the room.

A map of the continent stretched across the wood. Once he would have been preoccupied with the tokens on the western side: the Elven Lands. But his mind was now wholly focused on the east, and the two little polished beads that represented Lettle and Ajax.

He sank into his chair, glad to finally be on his own. The arrival of Motogo and Malak had proved a distraction, and Furi would hear none of his excuses for staying in his chambers. So he had played the puppet for the day and been the king he knew the elves needed to see.

Now he could get back to Lettle.