Page 154 of Cleopatra

Why did you do this? I have asked the sky a hundred times, a thousand times, since then. As the beam of sunlight he was in life, I knew that in death Re had welcomed him aboard his ship.

I have wept many times under the blistering sun, yearning for the warmth of his love.

We could have lived, Marcus.

But death beckons.

“I came to you, to die with you here,” he gasped. “But when I found the doors locked, I struck myself on the steps. To be close to you in the end.”

“O mighty Helios, sweet Dionysus.”

“What of the children? What of our gods?”

“They are safe, with Charmion.”

He smiled his last smile. “That is good. Let them live and love like we did. A rich life.”

“A rich life,” I agreed.

Then I kissed his bloodied lips and whispered, “In blood, in bone, in breath—forever we are bound.”

When his chest stilled, I wailed like a bull struck with a spear. I screamed like Caesarion when the needle had pierced his skin. I howled like Arsinoe losing Qar. I gasped as though the senate killed me along with Caesar. I sobbed like the waves that took my brother and moaned like the last words of another brother lost. All the griefs I had seen surged out of me in a single note.

So immense was the pain, I knew the gods could hear it.

The silence that followed my cry was more agonising still. For it denoted the absence of Antonius’s breath.

I knew then that I would never be the same. You see, my legend can bear more sorrow than I ever could. She is made of marble, and quartz, and more books than I can count. But as I was, I could endure no more grief.

I took in a ragged breath, preparing for my own journey to the beyond. A calmness overcame me as I reached for the pins in my hair.

Quicker to feed the poison into my blood than to drink it. I did not want to keep Antonius waiting.

I have seen my death so many times since this day.

Shakespeare bemoaned my immortal longings—but I did not speak so eloquently.

Elizabeth Taylor awoke from a dream, only to sleep again—but poison is no slumber.

Michelangelo stripped me bare and placed the asp to my bosom—but nothing but a babe sucked at my breast.

Shawqi brought me to my knees to plead mercy in death—but I sought no forgiveness, only blessed release.

There are countless more versions of this moment. They overlap in my mind, making it hard to finish this tale; it is as though each rendition has drained the vibrancy of the true memory. But I will not rob you of these final moments. You and I have journeyed through the years, each page bringing us closer to this very conclusion. Though it labours me, conclude I must.

There was no escaping the island alive. The infantry may have been only half a day away, but Octavian was here, now. I did not have long before his soldiers broke down the door to my temple.

“Now, my love, it is my turn to join you.”

When I turned to pick up the wolfsbane, I found someone was already holding it.

“Charmion?”

“I have never lied to you,” she told me. “Except when I promised you that I would leave with our children.”

“But—”

“Caesarion is old enough to protect them, he is a man grown. He knows the sacrifice you make for them, and he’ll see to their survival.”