Page 151 of Cleopatra

“The worst has happened,” I said, and found myself grinning.

“Why do you smile?” She reached for my medicine bag from around her waist, as though to cure me from my malady.

“Don’t you see? It’s over.”

Death beckoned to me.

There was a movement in the bushes that drew my attention away from the fleet; a mother cobra, pressing her nose to the sky. I understood her meaning and was comforted by it.

“It is time to join the gods.”

If I had bent low, would she have climbed into my clothing, as your tales claim? Perhaps. But certainly not to strike at my breast. She would have coiled around my brow and joined the rearing snakes on my crown—for cobras are proud things, just like me.

I retreated back into the temple and bowed low. “It won’t be long now. Bring me the children.”

When Charmion didn’t move, I said sharply, “Now, Charmion. Every moment is precious.”

I watched as the ships drew closer to Alexandria. They were the only indication of the passing of time, for everything else stood frozen, even my breath.

Octavian would not kill me. Not at first. I would become a trophy of the Roman senate. Paraded. Ridiculed.

Like Arsinoe.

But unlike my sister, I would not be able to sway the crowd’s sympathy. I would die on those bloodied steps to the thunderous cheers of the Roman people.

“I will not be led in triumph,” I declared to the oncoming ships.

The channels of my life had merged into a single river. There was no going back upstream—I could only let the water carry me forth. I wonder now: had I not borne children, would I have fought the currents? But it is too difficult to separate my life from them. My sacrifice was a small thing to trade for their survival.

“Cleo?”

I emerged from my trance to see the concerned face of Charmion. She had returned with the children.

I kneeled before them. Helios and Ptolemy clutched each other’s hands so tightly their knuckles had turned white. Selene, on the other hand, looked ready to fight, her gaze flicking to the horizon, and Caesarion was resolute. He, more than the others, knew defeat was imminent and he faced it unafraid.

Oh, how I loved them. The flesh of me.

“You are to go with Charmion. She has prepared a means to escape the palace. But you must wait until Octavian is sure of victory before you set sail. Let him think you have gone inland. I do not want you set upon on the sea.”

Caesarion shook his head. “No, I’m not leaving you here.”

I reached for him and he let me stroke his curling hair, so much like Caesar’s. “You are everything your father wished you to be, my son.” His eyes filled with tears.

“Selene, you are everything I wish I had been.” She met my gaze. “You are the very best of both my sister and me, and you must know I loved Arsinoe very much.”

“I will look after them, Mama,” she said.

I nodded and kissed the top of her head.

“Helios, your kindness is so much like your father’s; never let it fade. And Ptolemy, my youngest, let your laughter fill others’ lives as it has mine.” I held on to them both for a brief moment, then let them go, as I knew I must.

“Go ahead now, children, let me speak to Charmion alone.”

Finally, I lifted my gaze to Charmion. She was weeping freely.

“Why are you acting as if you will never see them again?” she asked. “Tell me you have a plan.”

I smiled sadly. “This is it—the final plan that comes for us all.”