Page 26 of Phase Two

CHAPTER 11

ALISE

I drove to Carter’s house with a heavy heart. It had been three days since I blocked him. He hadn’t shown up at my house once. Obviously, he didn’t care. I knew he had gone out with E, and I planned to call him to make sure he was good when he called me. Well, he called me by accident, but I heard everything I needed to hear. Him putting some drunk bitch named Jessica in his car, and her calling him daddy. The pain that radiated through my chest was almost scary. That man was a terrific actor. I was furious and one of the things that pissed me off the most was that I was hurt.

At my big grown ass age, I was crying over a man. I had already learned that no matter how bad a heartbreak hurt, we’d always get over it. We’d always heal and move on. It wasn’t the end of the world, and he was only doing what niggas did. But to my dismay, I was still hurt. Bad. The way I cried had me ashamed. But I allowed myself two days to sulk and feel foolish for falling so easy and so fast. I then collected everything Carter had at my home, and I was dropping it off at his house. I didn’t even want the things I had at his house. I didn’t even want to see his face.

Nobody clearly cared about what I wanted because his face was the first thing I saw. As I pulled into Carter’s driveway, he was emerging from his car clad in chocolate slacks and a black button up. That man was so damn fine I wanted to scream. He would be hard to walk away from but no matter how handsome he was or how good his dick was, I refused to be stupid for a man. Carter turned around and when he saw my car, he stood there.

The expression on his face was indifferent. That felt like a punch to the gut. He didn’t look happy to see me. He didn’t look apologetic. He almost looked like I was the last person that he wanted to see. Swallowing down the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat, I got out of the car, opened the back door, and removed the small box that held his belongings. As I walked over to him, I avoided eye contact.

“Your things.”

“Thanks.” His tone was gruff and dry. Another punch to the gut.

Blinking back tears, I started to walk away then I thought fuck that. I wanted to act like I didn’t care, but I did. Carter had me fucked up.

“Thanks? That’s it? No apology or half ass explanation?” I asked in a tone laced with attitude. My blood boiled as he frowned.

“Fuck am I apologizing for?”

My brows hiked, and I stepped closer to him. “You serious right now?”

“Yeah, I am. Because did I do something besides see my daughter’s friend drunk out her mind with some slimy nigga trying to get her to leave the bar with him, and I found out she only had two drinks, so she must have been drugged? So, I put her in my car and took her to the hospital. Is that what I’m apologizing for?”

He was pissed and rightfully so. My heart fell into my ass. I was so stupid. Oh, I was beyond stupid. I was downright ignorant. My mouth opened, but no words came out.

“I have no issue proving myself,” Carter stated while flicking the tip of his nose. “I know there are fucked up niggas out here because I used to be one. Most women have been hurt more than they haven’t. So, I move with intention. I show rather than tell. And that’s still not enough. You couldn’t be a grown ass woman and ask me what was going on. You straight blocked me. No questions asked. Nah, you not ready for a nigga like me. You need to go heal.”

Carter walked off and left me standing there looking as dumb as I felt. Heart racing, stomach caving, I walked to my car feeling like the only thing missing was the red nose because I was indeed a clown. I let my guard down just enough to let Carter in but not enough to stop being suspicious and ready to catch him in something. I was too busy waiting for the other shoe to drop that I overreacted and self-sabotaged. Never in my life had I fumbled a good man, but there was a first time for everything.

Carter had every right to be upset. He had every right to walk away from my bullshit. I had no one to blame but myself. Lesson learned. All I wanted was to curl up in a ball underneath my covers and sleep. If was asleep I couldn’t feel dumb. I almost opened my car door, got back out of the car, and apologized, but I didn’t. I thought I had healed because I was happy, content being alone, and I didn’t need a man to feel complete. It was okay to be cautious, but being afraid to let someone get close from fear of being hurt, that wasn’t healed. Making Carter pay for every man in the world that had done me or other women wrong wasn’t fair to him because he was definitely one of one.

My phone rang, and I saw Jada’s name on the screen. I couldn’t talk to her. I couldn’t admit out loud what I had done. Feeling foolish was embarrassing enough. There was no need to share it just yet. I needed to sit in it and process it. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to go home, eat cake, and cry myself to sleep.

Four days later, I was sitting on Lauren’s couch holding a shot glass and frowning from the bitter taste of the lime I had sucked to cut the taste of the tequila I tossed back. Lauren wasn’t a big drinker, so she had one shot of tequila and a glass of wine. I was on shot number three about to pour the fourth. She was smiling and flirting on the phone while I was scrolling on mine. I was still sad, still feeling foolish, and still sulking. Lauren ended the call with Rock as I was taking my next shot.

“We gotta quit sulking boo. What you want to do?”

I raised my brows and licked my lips. “You’re not sulking. You’re flirting. Only one of us is looking pathetic.”

“I might not be sulking, but my nerves are shot. I know Kiara is with Keith and his mother, but I’m still worried. His dumb ass doesn’t have the patience with her that I do.”

“She’ll be okay. Despite how he turned out, Keith’s mother is a good woman. She’s probably doing most of the work. Simple Simon just wants to look like he’s doing something,” I rolled my eyes.

“He asked if he could take me out tomorrow night. He wants to talk over dinner.”

I simply looked at Lauren. She was married to the man, and they shared a child. It didn’t matter how trash I thought he was. If she wanted to forgive him, I refused to judge her and make her feel bad. I would keep my feelings to myself no matter how hard it was.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I said?” Lauren laughed while I shook my head. “Bro, you have no faith in me. I said no, nigga!”

Jumping up off the couch, I screamed like I hit the lottery. “That’s what I’m talking about. Stand on business!”

“And did! Fuck he thought this was?”

“I am so freaking proud!” I beamed. My girl was starting to realize who she was, and I loved that for her.

My phone rang and when I saw Carter’s name, my heart began to drum in my chest. My stomach tightened, and I swallowed hard. “Hello?”