Page 24 of Phase Two

I loved that he wasn’t talking bad about his boy and running him in the dirt with the purpose of trying to prove he was the better man. But no matter how he dressed it up, I could tell Carter was more mature than E. He was proof that some of these men were near fifty and still childish as hell which was the reason I was so hesitant to believe that Carter wasn’t too good to be true.

Carter dropped me off at his house and went to check on E. We had a lil’ rhythm going, so I had pajamas, clothes, bras, panties, shoes, toiletries, and other items at Carter’s house and vice versa. When we spent the night with one another we never had to pack overnight bags. I went straight in the house, took a shower, brushed my teeth, and curled up in his bed.

CHAPTER 10

CARTER

I stood waiting on the other side of the door. When it opened, I grinned at Shani. “I heard you were walking without the walker. I had to come see if for myself.”

She smiled, and I had to admit that Shani looked good. She had gained about ten pounds and while that wasn’t a whole lot, it was just enough to keep her from appearing so frail and weak. Her face was a little fuller, and her hair was in locs that reached her ear.

“Yeap. It’s the second day.” Her speech was still a little slower than normal, but Shani was slowly getting back to herself, and I knew she was happy about that.

“I’m proud of you kid.”

“Thank you. Come in,” Shani took a few steps back. “Shanese is at the grocery store. She should be on h-her way b-back.”

“Okay.”

Shani was walking slow, but she was walking. When she finally made it to the couch, she sighed like she had just walked a mile. “I heard you have a g-girlfriend.”

“I do. My kids love telling my business, huh?”

“Shanese is just shocked. She never thought she’d see t-t-the day.”

“I wasn’t that bad. I just didn’t feel the need to be tied down unless I met someone that I felt was worth it.”

“And your c-c-cheating days are over?” Shani didn’t look too convinced.

“I did stop cheating on you the last year of our marriage. You were just fed up with my shit by then, and it didn’t matter. But I am capable of being faithful. And I’m much older now.”

“T-t-there are a lot of older men still out here cheating.”

“True, but I’m not one of them. Have you talked to Dayton? He’s mad with me, so he hasn’t been calling. I’m hoping he changes a lot before he comes home because right now isn’t it. He still refuses to take accountability, and he can have a terrible attitude at times. That entitled shit doesn’t work this way, and he should know that.”

“I haven’t heard from him in th-th-three days. He’s mad because Shanese won’t send him money. I told him she just b-b-bought this house. He said you helped her, so she didn’t have to do it alone.”

“That’s what I mean,” I shook my head. “That nigga is crazy as hell if he thinks his sister, me, or you owe him anything. How many times did I try to tell him to leave the streets alone? I have no problem putting money in his account but every time he gets mad at me, he tells me he doesn’t need my money and over this way, say the fuck less. I’ll keep my bread. But how is he asking his sister for money when she just bought a house, and she also helps take care of you?” I wanted my son to grow the hell up, but it didn’t seem like it was going to happen anytime soon.

“Did we fuck him up?” I questioned.

No one was perfect, but for Shanese and Dayton to have been raised in the same household for a few years and by both the same parents their entire lives they were vastly different. Shanese was a go getter. She graduated from college, had a good career, and had a good head on her shoulders. She liked to hang out with her friends and travel. The most trouble she got into in her younger years was one fight and she got caught skipping school once. Other than that, she was a daddy’s girl, and while I spoiled her for her entire life, she didn’t expect anything.

But Dayton was one of the most entitled people I’d ever seen. I was in the streets for many years, and I used to be dope boy fresh. I purchased new clothes and shoes every four or five days, and I never got myself anything without getting Shani and the kids something too. Shanese was in middle school with real diamonds and designer purses. Dayton was in high school with Cuban link chains and Gucci bookbags. The older he got, the entitlement didn’t stop. He was a grown ass man telling me the Benz he got for his sixteenth birthday was old, and he needed a Maybach.

I also wondered if I played a part in who he was because even though I stopped selling drugs when he was young, I still provided a life of luxury for my kids that would be hard for them to obtain as adults if they didn’t have great jobs, or if they weren’t getting illegal money. When I stopped giving Dayton money just for the fuck of it, he jumped head first into the game, and I would always feel like that was my fault.

“We didn’t do anything except give him a good life. “D-D-Dayton has always been spoiled, and that could have been m-m-m-my fault because I babied him a lot. Either way, we weren’t perfect, but he damn sure could have h-h-had worse parents than us.”

Bobbing my head, I gave her a half grin. “You know you’re alright when you aren’t busting me upside the head with bottles.”

Shani smiled and shook her head. “Sometimes, I want to do it just for old time’s s-s-sake.”

That made me laugh hard as hell. It felt good kicking it with Shani. There was a time when she hated me so bad no one could have paid me to believe we’d ever be cool again. I was a great provider for her and my kids but there were plenty of times I was a trash ass boyfriend, a trash ass husband, and parenthood didn’t come with a manual. I did the best I could and that had to be enough because we couldn’t go back.

Later that night, I was shooting pool with E. When he invited me out, I almost declined because I was tired, but I knew he was going through. He could act like a tough guy, and he could also have sex with a different woman every night. I knew he was missing Nicole.

“You think Alise would hook me up with one of her friends?” he asked while taking his shot.