Page 3 of Phase Two

“No. Alise, no,” she repeated with wide eyes.

“I wasn’t asking you, Love.”

I had come dressed in mint green wide leg sweats from Alo, and a matching fitted shirt. Before my arrival, I didn’t know the condition of Lauren’s home, but I had come ready for whatever. We could clean, cry, cook, set a nigga’s car on fire, whatever she wanted to do. Lauren flopped down on the couch while I began picking up Kiara’s toys off the floor.

“He said that Kiara took his place in the marriage. All my time and attention went to her while I acted like he didn’t exist.” Lauren’s knees were drawn to her chest as she stared at the wall with tears in her eyes.

“Sooo that big, overly, grown man was jealous of his own daughter. A beautiful, brilliant daughter that has autism, so she needs a little more patience and supervision than the average six-year-old. He really played in your face and used that as an excuse. You may have had more time for his club foot ass if he had helped you more rather than acting like he couldn’t be left alone with his own child. Please let me beat his ass!”

“For at least the last two years, he looked like he was in his first trimester of pregnancy. He said I let myself go, but he wasn’t out here with washboard abs. I knew something was off a few months ago when he started working out and eating clean.” Lauren pushed out an angry chuckle. “He even stopped drinking beer. This man forfeited time with me and his child to get in shape and look good for a woman that has baby hair longer than my eye lashes caked to her forehead,” Lauren scoffed.

I knew at that moment venting was important to her. When she first told me that Keith left the details were very vague. Now, she was letting it all out, and I was trying to be mindful not to interrupt her, but I wanted her to give me permission to at least put sugar in his tank. I was freakin’ fuming.

“I haven’t worked since Kiara was born. Now, I have to worry about finding a job that will work with her school schedule. He told me he will continue to pay the mortgage, but that’s it. Until I find a job, I can use Kiara’s check to pay the utilities. I can even apply for food stamps, but how am I going to make it by myself?” Fresh tears spilled over her eyelids.

“You and Kiara might be in this house by yourself, but you’ll never be by yourself. I keep telling you if you need anything I got you, and you know I mean it. I will babysit Kiara anytime you need some me time or if you have a job interview. I’ll cook, clean, give you money. And I said give not loan. You won’t have to pay shit back. Unless you need like $5,000. You’d have to pay that back. I’m comfortable. Not rich,” I joked.

Lauren laughed through her tears as she wiped her face. “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Get through your divorce without losing it?”

My shoulders lifted into a shrug. “I was miserable for the last three months of my marriage. When we decided to end things, it stung a little. I cried a few times. Wondered where we went wrong and if I was a failure but soon, my house started to feel like home. It was peaceful and quiet. And I fell in love with it. I didn’t get overly depressed until my daughter left for college. That shit almost broke me,” I replied honestly.

“I met Ced when Asharia was thirteen. I knew her longer than I was with him. For her entire life it had always been me and my baby. I didn’t know life without being a mother. When she left for school, I didn’t get out of bed for two days. I cried for two weeks. Shit, I still get lonely. But I had to learn to make the best of it. I have to remind myself that I raised a great kid. She has to live her own life, and I have to enter this next phase. I raised a whole kid and some days, I feel like I can’t raise myself. I don’t know what the hell I want. One day I want to move to Dubai, and the next day I want to cut all my hair off and become a Muslim,” I chuckled.

“Well, you did one out of three,” she smiled.

My cheeks lifted as I ran my hand over my short curls. “I did. And I feel so free. I’ve cut my hair short before, but this time is different. I feel like a real grown ass woman.”

“I thought I did the right thing. I thought I was supposed to get married, have a child, raise my child, grow old with my man, and live happily ever after. You can’t have a fairytale ending if you can’t keep a man.”

Scrunching my nose, I looked at Lauren with a frown. “That man couldn’t keep you. I don’t care how much he tried to gaslight you and make it seem like your fault, his fuck ass is wrong as two left shoes, and I hope that chick gives him herpes.”

Lauren shook her head at my antics. “You’re going to be alright, friend. Fuck that nigga. You wanted him. You don’t need him. Let him go and see that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. You and Kiara are going to be just fine. I can promise you that.”

“How long did it take you to get it all together?”

“What makes you think I have it all together? I cried yesterday. My baby is having a baby, and she’s in another state with her fiancé. I have to drive for four hours or fly for one just to see her. I get sad all the time, but I have to suck it up. No one is going to come along and save me. It’s up to me to create the life that I want to live. And even though I don’t know exactly what I want I know what I don’t want. At this point in my life, it’s my way or the highway. I’m having my way out here. A man is just an added bonus.”

I meant every word. There was no timeline on getting over heartbreak. Everyone was different. I hated what my friend was going through. She didn’t deserve it. All I could do was pray that she remembered who she was. Letting a man break her wasn’t an option. Not as long as she was my friend.

CHAPTER 2

CARTER

My friend, E, swung his golf club and rather than hitting the golf ball, he knocked up a chunk of grass making me laugh. “These people gon’ send yo’ ass a bill for messing up their lawn.”

“I don’t know why you got me doing this white people shit anyway,” he sucked his teeth making me laugh harder.

“I got you doing it, or you begged me to teach you ‘cus you want to come out here when the Hot Girls Golf Club is here?”

“Oh yeah.” He perked up at the mention of the black, female golf club that frequented the country club that I attended.

I actually found a few years ago that golf relaxed me. I had spent too many years of my life around the hustle and bustle. My age was starting to show ‘cus I liked quiet shit. Golf, fishing, riding motorcycles. I was forty-eight, and my life was the calmest that it had ever been. Up until a few months ago.

“How is Shani doing?” E asked as if he could read my mind.