Page 54 of Rejected Alpha Mate

“Thank you, Nick,” she whispers, averting her eyes and staring at the lake now.

“You’re welcome, Donna,” I sigh, getting comfortable on the rock. Though there’s some distance between us, the air is charged with the energy of our mate bond, an etheric cord binding us. It’s time to bridge that distance.

“We need to talk…” I say gently, bracing myself for her resistance.

But it doesn’t come.

“I know,” she relents with a sigh, still maintaining her gaze on the lake. “I overheard your conversation with your father the other day. What was that about?”

My brows furrow gently, even though Donna doesn’t turn to me. “You overheard that? I was hoping you didn’t,” I grimace.

“I didn’t hear much, but just enough to know it had something to do with me,” she admits, and I nod slowly.

“My father is demanding the next heir for the alpha mantle,” I say flatly, and Donna turns, eyes wide with disbelief.

“What?!” she exclaims, and I notice the exact moment when a stroke of realization hits her, and the color drains from her face. She lifts a hand to the necklace, brows furrowing. “Is that why you’re here? Why you gave me this?”

“No…no! Of course, not,” I protest, lifting my hands in a show of surrender, to show her that it wasn’t my intention. “I didn’t give you that as some kind of bribe. I’ve been wanting to give you this ever since Terramor, I just…” I hang my head in shame. “Didn’t have the guts to do it.”

“Why?” she asks, and I keep my head down.

“Because I know what I did last summer hurt you, Donna, and it’s been eating me up inside. I h-hurt myself as much as I hurt you, and it’s been killing me ever since,” I choke out, a lump forming in my throat. “I couldn’t even bring myself to tell you what my father said the other day, because truthfully, I have no right to you. I lost all of my rights when I rejected you, and I am terribly sorry for what I did.”

As my eyes gloss over with tears, I stare at my linked hands, watching the way I fidget my fingers. Donna lets out a slow, drawn-out breath, then whispers, “I need to know why you rejected me. I need to understand it.”

I nod slowly, too ashamed to lift my head even now. I swallow the lump in my throat and respond to her question as honestly as I can. “I rejected you because I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life, and neither were you. I wasn’t the alpha yet, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to protect you. I had a lot going on, but so did you. I was afraid of you losing your autonomy if I turned your life upside down with a mate bond. You’re the smartest woman I know, with a bright future ahead of you. I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Donna nods slowly, thoughtfully, and I finally look up to face her. She meets my eyes with a steady, controlled gaze, then asks, “Why were you afraid that you wouldn’t be able to protect me?”

The question lands deep because it’s the main reason I rejected her back then, while simultaneously being the reason I swooped in and married her on a whim when Tobias emerged as a threat. “Because I’ve seen the shit out there, Donna. I’ve experienced it while I was in black ops, and I was fresh from it last summer. I thought it would be better to let you go. I mean…what if I accepted the mate bond and failed you? You’re my best friend’s little sister. Dom would kill me if I couldn’t protect you.”

Donna purses her lips, her eyes searching my face, and I can’t hide anymore—not when she seems to read me like an open book. “That makes sense,” she finally says. “You never spoke about what you saw out there, what you experienced, but I’m guessing it was pretty dark,” she continues, observing the situation in a way that sounds detached, professional. She is, after all, a qualified psychologist. Another reason to be in awe of her.

“So what made you want to marry me if that’s the thing you were avoiding?” she continues. “If what you went through out there scared you, and led you to reject me last summer, why did you change your mind?”

I shrug. “I guess it was an impulsive thing—a decision made by my inner wolf. Seeing you with Tobias…it fucked me up, okay? And I’m glad it did. I’m glad I came to your tent that night, contemplating whether I should give you your graduation gift or not. Then I saw him act strangely, and I followed him. I’m glad I did that, too. That’s when I knew you were in danger, and I had to do something.”

Donna’s eyes soften, no longer the professional but just the she-wolf who had been hurt by her mate. “Do you regret it? Following your inner wolf’s impulses?”

“Regret it?” I scoff. “No. Never. You have no idea what you do to me, Donna. I know. I’ve always known that we were fated mates. I’ve just been a coward about it all this time.”

“And you’re not here because you want to convince me to have your children?” she asks with a lighthearted chuckle.

“No,” I respond earnestly, pinching the skin on my throat. “I swear I’m not. My father has always been a tyrant, and his demands now are no different than what I’ve grown up with. I’m only here to apologize for hurting you, and promise that I will do everything in my power to protect you and protect your heart. I don’t deserve you, but I’m gonna do everything I can to earn a place in your life. I am sorry, Donna. I was foolish back then, and it won’t happen again, I swear.”

Donna stares into my eyes for a long moment, searching them for even a flicker of doubt, but she finds none. She nods once, then takes a deep breath.

“I forgive you, Nicholas. I do. But I’m gonna need time.”

I nod gently. “I will give you all the time you need. Thank you for your forgiveness.”

Donna smiles wistfully, holding out her hand. “You can thank me by helping me up,” she says, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Eagerly complying, I hop to my feet on the side of the rock, then reach for her outstretched hand. The second we touch, my inner wolf is awakened by the warm pulses of awareness rushing through my veins.

I pull Donna up, and she stares at my face thoughtfully. “You feel that too?”

“Every damn time…” I murmur, my voice bordering on a low growl. “It’s why I ran. It’s so intense.”