Page 41 of Rejected Alpha Mate

I hang on tighter, pleasure erupting from my core and spreading through me like a wild, uncontrollable fire. Nicholas's arms are under me then, holding me close to his chest as we reach climax together.

After what feels like a blissful lifetime, I begin crawling out from the high, realizing Nicholas is lying on my chest, his body pinning me to the mattress. Skin to skin and covered in sweat, Nicholas turns his face inward and whispers in my ear, “That was better than my dreams…”

While my heart flutters, Nicholas lazily moves and scoops me into his side, cuddling me against his chest as a soft sigh of exhaustion falls from his lips at the back of my head.

I'm just about to close my eyes and bask in the tenderness of this moment—one I had dreamed about for a long time—when it hits me. The last time I felt this way, I was so close to losing myself in Nicholas, until he pulled the rug out from under me.

And now I’ve gone all the way with him, and there’s no going back.

I just lost my virginity to the one man whose eyes I swore I'd never meet again.

My archnemesis…

I lost myself in a moment of vulnerability, but that's something I can't afford to do again. I can't risk my heart breaking when I'm meant to be stronger. I'm meant to face being a witch, meant to face Tobias turning out to be a deceptive wolf working for a collective enemy.

If I let myself be swept away by Nicholas's effortless charm, I know I'll regret it later.

The silence is filled only with the gentle lull of his slow breaths, and I turn, cautiously, only to find that he's fallen asleep.

Carefully slipping out from under his arm, I slide off the bed and glance back at him once, biting my bottom lip.

Yes, I’m running away right now, doing exactly what I accused him of, but it’s the only way.

It’s the only way I can keep myself safe, because I’m afraid.

I am afraid of what happens when I lose control, because it entails getting my heart broken all over again. I can’t survive that a second time. My heart won’t bear it, and I’ll just wither and die if I’m not careful enough.

Burying my feelings, I cling once again to the resentment I had when he rejected me, even in the aftermath of losing my virginity to him.

It's easier this way, for the sake of my sanity.

Nicholas Bartalow is not good for me.

Chapter 14 - Nicholas

The house smells like coffee when the group comes back from Montreal, like a warm Sunday morning, except it’s a Tuesday, and I don’t feel very welcome in my own home.

Delilah and Arianna are already in the living room, a map of Quebec spread across the table, while the rest of us—Dominic, Sean, Hunter, Tyler, and Emily—file in with the exhaustion of wolves who’ve been running on fumes.

They have every reason to be exhausted from their journey to Canada and back, while I only have emotional exhaustion to thank for the way I drag my feet into the living room.

The conversation buzzes low, but I can barely focus when all I can think about is the scent still clinging to me. Now that I’m out of the kitchen, and the smell of coffee is weaker, there’s another scent that overpowers my senses.

Lavender.

Donna’s scent.

Or, her scent is just burned into my airways, a brutal reminder of what happened last night.

I woke up to cold sheets and a hollow space beside me, the absence of an indentation where she’d been lying, digging a hole in my chest. For a moment, I thought I’d dreamt it up, that she’d never been there at all, but the taste of her still lingered on my tongue, proof enough that it was real.

And now she’s across the living room, standing beside Delilah with her arms folded, her face neutral. Blank.

If she is thinking about last night, she doesn’t show it.

“The Loups de Lune Pack says they haven’t seen Tobias since he left two days ago,” Sean begins, pulling me back into the present. He’s pacing behind the couch, one hand rubbing his neck. “Alpha Beaumont swore Tobias was gone before we even got there.”

I glance up. “Etienne Beaumont?”