Page 18 of Rejected Alpha Mate

Stupidly.

I am an idiot.

Tearing my eyes away, the storm inside me erupts as the service closet suddenly becomes small and suffocating, and I spin on my heel, throwing the door open and bolting out. As the tears roll down my cheeks and I put as much distance as I can between Nicholas and me, I swear to myself that I’ll never meet his eyes again.

He doesn’t deserve the heart he just ripped to shreds, or the unconditional love I would have showered him with.

***

I regain my composure until I’m able to draw up the zipper, realizing how harsh the truth is—memories can’t die.

They can only be buried, locked away by bars constructed of indifference, nonchalance, and numbness. I’ve been running away from my feelings ever since that day, but now that Nicholas is back, and I’m about to marry him, there’s no way I can keep running.

How am I supposed to be numb? Cold?

I’m a woman. It’s never been in my nature.

But I’m also a hot-blooded werewolf, and the laws of ordinary human psychology don’t affect me. They shouldn’t.

Lifting my face, there’s a defiant tilt to my chin as I stare at my reflection, considering what I’m about to do.

Sure, I agreed to this because of Dominic, and I haven’t told him about last summer, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay.

I’m not okay, and apart from no one else noticing it, I’ve hardly given myself time to feel. I just learned that my best human friend of four years was deceiving me all this time and was not even human all along. It’s just another betrayal to add to my already deep betrayal wounds, and now I have to heal again while I’m tossed to the Crescent Moon wolves.

“Donna? Can I come inside?” Cecelia asks from behind the door, and I take a deep breath before turning from the mirror and padding across the room to the door.

“Why didn’t you just come inside?” I chuckle as I open the door, and Cecelia steps in with Darius on her hip.

“Oh, my Goddess…” Cecelia gawks as she rakes her eyes over me from head to toe. “Your mother was right…you do look good in her dress.”

Darius opens his arms and beams from ear to ear at me, silently pleading for me to take him, and I need the distraction so I don’t have to wallow in my sorrows about wearing the same dress Mama wore to her mating ceremony with my father. As I’m about to take Darius, Cecelia shakes her head.

“Dom’s gonna be here any second now,” Cecelia playfully scolds. “No auntie duties for you. It’s your big night.”

“Don’t make it sound like it’s a bigger deal than it needs to be,” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “I’m only entering this marriage because my brother is convinced I’m in danger.”

“Which you are,” Cecelia argues. “And you know Dominic won’t put you in any situation that isn’t good for you. He trusts Nick with his life, and this is the best solution for now.”

I gulp, hard, swallowing the truth caught in my throat, threatening to spill from my tongue. My brother’s blind faith in his best friend is nauseating when I know the other side of Nicholas—the dark side that Dominic isn’t aware of.

But I can’t hurt Dominic with the truth when I know it’ll destroy him. He already has so much on his plate, and I saw the weight of all he carries in his eyes the night he came to my tent in Terramor.

He’d followed to appeal to me to accept Nicholas’s offer, citing that it was the best way to keep me safe. If he’d made enemies out there who were hunting him, or if the dark lord was targeting Lunaris, he’d have to protect Cecelia, their son, and Mama. If he thought I was safe with his best friend in another town, I’d be taking some of that weight off his shoulders, especially since I was being targeted.

How could I possibly deny my brother that one little reassurance when he’s been through so much, and continues to work himself to the bone?

That’s why I offer him a smile, not letting him see that deep down, I’m breaking apart, because we’re headed outside where Nicholas waits for me to complete the ceremony.

As soon as we’re through the doors of Dominic’s home and in the backyard, I see Nicholas standing at the end of the aisle, hands shoved into the pockets of his perfectly tailored black pants that leave little to the imagination of where his muscles contour his thighs.

I take a deep breath before my brother leads me down that aisle toward his best friend, using every step to build up the courage that’s needed to face the enemy with the handsome face and crooked smile that should be nauseating, but instead makes my heart skip a beat.

No.

I can’t fall victim to his clutches like I did before.

The real enemy here is Nicholas. He’s the cunning one, the master manipulator who first ripped my heart to shreds, and now he’s back at the crime scene. What does he want this time? What does he stand to gain from trapping me in this arranged marriage?