Page 7 of Betrayed Alpha Mate

I can’t be seen as pathetic by the only man who has ever made me feel worthless.

Grunting irritably, I get to my feet and drag them to my room, wondering if this fatigue is connected to the ritual and the potion I drank. Maybe.

But by the time I climb into bed, I can’t fall asleep, again suspecting that this restlessness is a result of the potion. While my eyes stay fixed to the ceiling, the whiteboard directly above my head somehow turns into a blank canvas on which a memory plays out.

***

Five Years Ago

Tears fall onto my lap, and I watch them as they match the gentle rainfall pattering on the cobblestones outside the pack hall. I stifle the ruthless sob lodged in my throat, forcing myself to stay quiet while the funeral proceeds.

“…Your Luna may be gone, but she will never be f-forgotten.” Alpha Joseph Lowell chokes on the last word, cracking through the facade of being in control of his emotions during this time.

I look up to find him searching the benches, confusion and worry etched in his graying brows and making the wrinkles around his eyes more prominent. The alpha looks like he’s lived a thousand lives in the span of a year, and it all came crashing down on him two nights ago, when he lost his mate.

Once half the picture of a perfect couple, Alpha Joseph stands on the stage, addressing his pack while embodying the example of what most werewolves fear.

Losing one’s mate.

The aftermath is like a toxic shock that keeps him frozen in a cloak of gloom, passing that heaviness through his speech despite his best efforts to show a strong front. He has to, because he’s the alpha. He’ll only break down in the confines of his home, now that Luna Evelyn’s body has been laid to rest.

But there’s still a certain unease in his wandering eyes, and I wipe away my tears to follow his gaze.

That’s when I realize why he seems so confused.

The bench in front, where Sean is supposed to be seated. is empty.

I gulp hard and swallow my own emotions, waiting for Alpha Joseph to finish his speech and dismiss the gathering to the back of the hall for the customary post-funeral dinner before I quietly slip off the bench and make my way toward him.

We meet at the bottom of the stairs on the side of the stage, and Alpha Joseph immediately pulls me into his arms, sighing.

The weight of his grief is evident in that one breath, drawn out and full of the emotion he’s suppressing to show up as a strong leader in front of the pack. He pulls back and cups my face, smiling wistfully at me as he wipes my tears away.

“Do you know where my son is?” he asks timidly, and I shake my head slowly.

“I’ll go look for him,” I assure Alpha Joseph, offering him a more sincere smile as I squeeze his arm gently.

“Thank you, Emily. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“I made a promise to Luna Evelyn,” I remind Alpha Joseph, whose blue eyes turn sad at the mention of his mate. “Your pack awaits you, Alpha. You need to eat as well. I’ll make sure Sean finds you.”

Alpha Joseph nods tentatively before making his way to the dining area for dinner. I take a deep breath, metaphorically fixing my healer’s hat on my head, before going outside in search of Sean.

I find him exactly where I suspected he’d be at the base of Mount Mansfield, sitting on the bench between two maple trees.

“Sean…?” I call out, and a cloud of smoke puffs out on one side of his face in response.

“Yeah?” he asks nonchalantly, not turning his head, as if he’s ignoring my existence.

An unsettled shiver courses down my spine, but I continue forward. “Your father was looking for you. They’re having dinner in the hall now. It’ll mean a lot to him if you’re there.”

“Sure,” he says, and shrugs, taking another audible pull of his cigarette.

Marijuana, tobacco, and wolfsbane.

Great.

“You missed his speech. It was very touching,” I continue, arriving beside the bench and hesitating with my hand on the armrest.