Page 48 of Betrayed Alpha Mate

Like Sean.

And Delilah…

My palms flicker with a spark of electric current, my magic surging forward and dying at my fingertips, as if responding to the turmoil in my chest. My eyes remain closed as I search for the feeling of being in control of my powers, like I felt that night when Sean and I were one in my cottage, but I struggle to find that feeling again. It feels as if I’m going backward, not gaining any form of control.

And what’s worse is that it feels like someone is watching me, stalking me like prey, ready to pounce on me if I’m not careful.

“Emily…do you really think you are worthy of these powers?” An intrusive voice chimes in my head, and my eyes fly open with a gasp, brows furrowing because I’m not sure if that was my inner wolf speaking to me mentally, taunting me about my insecurities buried deep within, or if the voice belongs to something else.

As I lift my eyes across the gathering of lavender bushes, my vision tunnels, blurring at the sides to focus on a single path ahead. The path toward the woods, illuminated by the sun’s warm rays, casts down like a soft golden light. At the ingress of the woods, I see a silhouette of a girl, her long, wavy hair cascading down her back and following the sway of her long, ruffled skirt.

My heart skips a beat with what feels like recognition, or perhaps it's that part of me, deep down, that craves to be close to something pure, something innocent, that can bring about a smile on my face through the adversity I’ve been facing lately. I stand up and automatically move toward the girl near the woods, a smile curling my lips when her giggles echo in my head.

“Hey there!” I call out to her sweetly, but then my heart lurches when she turns and meets my eyes. My heart drops, my feet frozen to the ground, when I’m met with sapphire blue eyes lit up by a sincere, youthful smile.

It’s like I’m looking into the mirror, but I’m not twenty-nine anymore. I’ve just traveled twenty years into the past, and my younger self is staring back at me, the smile leaving her face, replaced by a frown. A tormented frown as her little body begins trembling, and her bottom lip curls into a pout.

“Help me, please!” she cries out before spinning on her heel and bolting into the woods, where she disappears. I’m about to put my foot forward to follow her when a man’s voice distracts me.

“I don’t think you understood me, Emily.”

I frown when I turn my head in the direction of that voice, only to see Sean standing beside the bench, lowering his pointed finger as he glares at me with enough ferocity to cause me to tense up, reliving a moment I thought I’d buried away for good.

“I don’t ever need you. Ever. Do you understand that?”

My throat tightens around words I’ve spoken before, words that refuse to come out now. A hand flies up to my throat, fingers clawing my skin as if I’m trying to pull imaginary chains off my neck.

Sean takes a step forward, filling the air with the scent of sandalwood and berries—a scent that was once so soothing, but now reeks of menace, of danger, a scent I’ve come to despise. “Mates?!” he sneers. “We’re not mates, Emily. We’ll never be.”

I try to speak up, but my voice is muffled as if something is covering my mouth, only tiny half-squeals escaping my lips as Sean glares at me. The fire in his eyes burns my insides, holding me prisoner with some invisible force that denies me the ability to move or speak. Sean growls at me before he spins on his heel and walks away, disappearing into the woods just like my younger self did, and just like he did in the past.

Watching him walk away, I relive that memory of being rejected, while also feeling those raw emotions resurface from where I'd buried them before. My eyes burn with hot tears, my body shaking as I finally regain the ability to move.

But it's only to crumple to the ground in a sobbing mass of limp limbs and a tightening chest. Forgotten, abandoned, and rejected by the man I love, leaving me hopeless in a way that kills my magic. It simmers just underneath my skin before dying out in my fingertips, and the worst thing happens when an eerie laugh echoes all around me, mocking my plight, ridiculing my torment as it rings out in my eardrums and bounces off the trees in the forest.

“Emily…you were never worthy…” a haunting voice mocks me before rippling out in laughter, playing on my deep-seated insecurities again—that part of me that wanted to overcompensate for turning out to be a witch by perfecting the craft before revealing it to the others.

But I'd heard similar laughter once before—when we fought the wicked witch, Morganna, in Montreal. She's dead, but three remaining evil witches work for the dark lord.

I can sense her coming for me, and I know that whatever I'm seeing—these memories I'm reliving—is a vision brought on by the witch who hunts me. But even with that inner knowing, nothing can stop the ache in my heart from growing and filling my chest like a gaping hole of struggle and torture.

It physically hurts, and the scream that rips through me is like the final breath before death—or what I think it might sound like when I'm dying. Through the haze of my overflowing tears, I see the outline of a magnificent, powerful wolf barreling toward me, beady eyes fixed on my face with a glint of panic evident in them.

As soon as I'm hit with another burst of sandalwood and berries, I'm snapped out of the vision, my sight returning to normal in an instant that's as frightening as it is relieving. I can hear my sobs clearer now, the helpless sound filling my ears as Sean shifts into human form and drops to his knees in front of me.

Where there was danger before, I cling to his scent as if it's the only thing that makes sense, the only thing that grounds me in reality. His arms wind around my trembling frame with protectiveness that I suddenly welcome, and I find myself basking in that feeling of being safe—something I've been denying myself for so long. I need it now, that safety becoming the anchor that allows me to feel control over my magic, even in the midst of being so frightened.

“Something's coming for me!” I choke out at last, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders because I'm finally being vulnerable in front of the one man I swore I'd never drop my guard for. But he's the man I feel safest with, and I grab a fistful of his T-shirt, clinging to him as I lift tear-stricken eyes at him.

“It’s coming for me, Sean. He’s coming for me.”

There’s a regal determination that flickers in Sean’s eyes as he holds his chin up high and he slides a hand on my moistened cheek. Cupping my face with steadiness, his voice is firm when he says, “You’re not handling this alone anymore, Emily.”

His tone is stern, oozing the authority of his alpha status. It’s not a question, and it’s not a request. It’s a solemn oath from the alpha of the Silverfang Pack, making a promise to his luna to stay by her side, fight by her side. It’s about more than just staying in his house.

It’s about letting him in so that he can protect me.

This time, I don’t put up a fight or argue with him. Instead, I allow myself to feel safe in his arms, allow myself to feel protected without holding the past over our heads like a dark cloud. I’m only hurting myself by doing that, and it’s about damn time I learn how to trust Sean again.