Page 90 of Spar of Hearts

She was smiling.

“You needn’t make the journey miserable, Anya.” He extended a hand and pulled her to her feet. “You’re allowed to smile once in a while. It’s a piece of advice I’m trying to take to heart.”

“Aren’t you worried?” Anya brushed pollen off her dress.

“Yes. I am. But I’m also used to it. My whole life has been nothing but anxiety.”

She looked down at her feet as they walked. “Oh. Right. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m not afraid to talk about it. But it does feel strange. I suppose that’s to be expected. My world changed overnight all those months ago.”

A flock of herons took to the sky as they waded through a patch of tall grass.

Roderick plucked a lupine flower and started picking at the petals one by one. “Maybe you can help me get used to it. Ask me anything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

Anya thought for a moment, claw to her lip. She wanted to ask the indulgent questions festering in her mind. Do you have a lover? What do you look for in a mate?

She settled on the safety of her most academic curiosity.

“Why don’t you have red eyes?” she asked. Roderick tossed a petal in the air. It floated toward her as he tossed another one up. The breeze swept it right under her nose and out into the field.

“I appreciate you starting with an easy one.” Roderick rolled the stem between his fingers. “It isn’t magic, or herbs. I wish it had been. I think a lot more would have survived. I was always told that Centarians rarely took a mate outside our kind—that the bonding exchange of blood was precious, something we could only experience with each other. I assume that’s how carmine eyes stayed so prevalent.”

The tomes Anya read hadn’t said anything about Centarians not taking mates outside their kind. Her guts twisted at the thought. Roderick had options aside from Millicent now. Folk he could truly bond with just as he said.

She felt like a fool. Of course he wanted a Centarian mate. Why wouldn’t he? He took great pride in being Centarian. His people may see their hero taking any other kind as a mate as a slap to the face. She loathed the ache in her chest that grew the more she thought about it.

And yet, she journeyed deeper into her questioning.

“Are both your parents Centarian?”

Roderick nodded. “Yes. But both of them had a parent, and grandparents, that were mated to humans. That is how I got this winning combination.” He gave her a crooked grin and pointed to his eyes and fangs.

She bit her lip for a moment, then asked, “Do Centarians look down on those who have a mate that isn’t Centarian?”

After plucking the last blue petal off the lupine, Roderick thought for a moment, twisting the stem into a bow. “I’m honestly not sure. There are hardly any refugees living in Petorus. But Millicent is happy with Ellis, and my grandparents loved each other. I think that’s what matters the most.”

“Oh. Yes, yes, I agree.” Anya’s steps lightened as they went deeper into the thick forest of birch and maple trees. She took a deep, steadying breath of woodsy air. This was digging deeper, and she was scared of what she would find—within him, and herself—but she couldn’t seem to stop.

“So what would make you happy?”

A melancholy smile crept across his face. “Happiness, the future. My life was always planned out for me. I followed orders. Between watching my back and climbing the ladder, I never had much of a chance to think about such luxuries.”

“That isn’t an answer.”

“You first.”

“Pardon?”

“You. First,” he repeated. “What would make you happy?”

Surprisingly, her first thought wasn’t being Queen. Or even being at the palace. Or Eteross. Or even Valeria. It was this. Sailing uncharted waters, exploring with the earth beneath her bare feet, sparring till her lungs burned—and in her mind’s eye, Roderick was the one she did it all with.

The vulnerability of the realization made her heart pump in double time. It was the first time she imagined a future where she didn’t follow in her parents’ footsteps.