Page 11 of Axes and Ohs

I can help you practice your Spanish if you want. Video call tonight?

Erick

Yes, please. I’ll bring flashcards.

Nerd.

Erick

Jock.

I can’t help smiling at my phone.

Talk to you later.

Erick

Can’t wait.

I’m still smiling when I finally make it over to the truck. Hussein gives me a knowing look.

“Alright, seriously, spill. Who is she?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The girl who’s got you checking your phone every five minutes like a teenager with his first girlfriend.”

“Not a girl.” I busy myself with securing a load of pine logs, avoiding his eyes. “Just a friend.”

“Uh-huh. A friend who makes you smile like that?”

“Drop it, okay?”

Hussein doesn’t drop it, of course. Neither do Bunsen and the other guys. For the past few months, they’ve been relentless—asking about my mystery woman, wondering why I never bring her around, making jokes about long-distance relationships.

The truth is too complicated to explain… especially when I’m not even sure I understand it myself.

All I know is every time Erick texts me, I feel lighter. He sends me pictures of kid art and stories about work, funny memes he finds online, updates about his job search and his slow rebellion against his parents’ expectations. In return, I send him pictures of the forests and the crew, stories about Winsome happenings, updates about Mamá’s recovery, and flirtatious messages that would probably scandalize my coworkers if they saw them.

But am I ready to tell everyone in my life about Erick?

Fuck, no.

The guys on my crew have mouths—big ones—and in a tiny town like Winsome, word gets around. It’s bad enough when they ask me who I’ve been talking to, and when they can meet them, and whether it’s serious.

But when Perky at the store and all the old ladies at Ruby’s Diner start giving me knowing looks, when someone inevitably spills to my mother and she starts asking me questions… what the fuck would I even say?

That night in October feels impulsive, the way the Big Bang was impulsive, you know? Like it was sudden but inevitable.

I just don’t trust myself enough to change my whole world around until I know for sure.

And, hell, even if I realize that, yes, I am definitely bi, and yes, definitely into Erick… how would that work?

Erick’s life and family are in New York. He has a big, fancy-ass social circle that’s the opposite of mine. He hasn’t mentioned dating anyone, but I remember him saying dating was part of his new life plan. Does that mean he’s been seeing other guys?

My phone buzzes again just after lunchtime.

Erick