Page 75 of Violent Skies

“I usually sit there,” I huff quietly, but his annoyance brings a smile to my face.

“Here.” He hands me the keys.

I hold them between my fingers, contemplating his suggestion before pushing them into the ignition and turning the engine over. It purrs to life, and unlike the last time I was inside of it, there’s no panic, no fear, no adrenaline. It’s just me and vibration.

“You aren’t wearing shoes.” I look down at his bare feet.

“Drive, Cress.”

I don’t protest this time. I don’t deflect or distract. I shift the Cuda and the feeling of it rolling to a start is euphoric. I get us out to the highway. Riggs leans in the passenger seat with his eyes closed as I pick up speed and let the road rip away all of our problems.

But we’ll never be able to run from Koa’s ghost. I keep replaying what Liloa said in my head, over and over like a broken record. It may cost you everything in this war. But are we at war? At first it didn’t feel like it—we were just fighting our way out of an impossible situation—but the deeper we got, the more doors we opened trying to figure out the truth, the more danger we ended up in and we still don't have any real answers.

The only time it doesn’t feel like we’re driving in circles is when we’re alone. Riggs reaches over, his eyes still closed, and places his hand on top of mine over the stick and everything floods back.

2009

“Knock knock.” Riggs appears through the back door of our house, throwing a pack of gum on the table next to my school books. “You’re still studying?”

“I can’t graduate unless I pass my exams,” I say, reaching out for the package but he grabs it back. His long, muscular body leans over the kitchen table and the necklace he wears peeks out of the collar of his loose t-shirt alongside a blossom of new tattoos I’ve never seen.

“Tinā-Mu is going to have your head for marking up your pretty skin, you know?” My eyes lift from the ink and the sight of his chest to his endless, predatory blue eyes.

“It makes me look tough.” He smirks.

“No it doesn’t.” I shake my head and he rolls his eyes. “Can I have my gum back?” I ask, putting my palm up right. I need it to study; it’s the only thing keeping me focused.

“Not until you come for a drive.”

“I don’t have time for that today,” I huff. I have to study for another two hours, get dinner ready for my mom and Birdie before rushing down to work at the clinic. It’s a dream part-time job, I work the desk, get experience from the nurses, I’ve been learning so much and watching them help people… I want to do that. All the time. But I can’t unless I get a scholarship. There’s not a drop of money in this old house for university. I have to earn it.

“You don’t have time for me?” He pouts and I want to punch him.

“I don’t have time for anyone, ever…” I sigh, frustrated. Exhausted. Koa’s been gone a week to only God knows where. No one can get hold of him and it’s starting to make me sad. But that’s him. He disappears sometimes and he always comes back, but it’s the silence that worms under my skin and causes me to get antsy. He usually fills it so easily.

“Come on, Cress—one drive, we can pick up dinner on the way back,” he says like he can read my mind and is trying to check off my list. “The drive will help you clear your head so you can study more.”

I stare up at him, knowing that no matter what I say, he’s going to convince me. At this point I’m just wasting time arguing with him.

“And milkshakes.”

“Chocolate-banana.” He winks.

I follow him out to the car and within seconds I have to admit how right he is. “I feel better,” I confess and he smirks. I look down at his hand around the stick, how close my pinky is to his on my thigh and watch as he reaches over with such ease and familiarity. He puts his hand over mine and brings it back to the stick, shifting gears and speeding up as his palm warms the top of my hand and the vibration of the engine eases the knots in my muscles. Just like it always does. He knows exactly what to do, how to do it, when it’ll work, when it won’t.

I still haven’t told Riggs that Koa asked me on a date.

It feels wrong knowing that Koa is flirting but never around Riggs. Never in his face. We can’t hurt him like that, it’s cruel. But why is it cruel? Riggs has never seen me like that. He looks at me like I’m his little sister. I’m just another sibling to him.

He doesn’t ask me to drive today. He takes me down to Joey’s and we get burgers. I don’t ask him where he got the money for it. Then back up to the other edge of town for the french fries, because the ones at Joey’s are never crispy enough for me.

Our last stop is the Sundown, a small diner on the turn off right before the road home. Riggs opens my door for me before we approach the take out counter and order.

“Just a little one,” I remind him and he rolls his eyes.

“Two banana-chocolate milkshakes, one small, one medium,” he tells the girl behind the counter. I never really come up with him. I usually stay in the car and it’s a little surprising that he orders two of the same flavor.

“Why do you order the same one as me?” I ask him as he pays.