Page 8 of Certified To Handle You 2

“I’m ‘bout to dip,” I said.

They both nodded, not askin’ no questions, ‘cause they already knew.

By the time I got back to the crib, I went straight to my side and closed myself off from everything else. I walked in my room, tossin’ my keys down, and headed straight for the bathroom.

I finally looked at my face in the mirror, really lookin’ at the scratches this damn woman left, and I ain’t even react the way somebody else probably would’ve.

This shit wasn’t nothin’ to me, so I wasn’t even mad about that part.

If anything, it made me smirk a lil’, ‘cause I knew exactly why she did it.

What had me tight was the fact that she walked in there with a nigga in front of my whole family like that shit was supposed to sit right with me.

That’s what I couldn’t get past, and when I stepped in the shower and let that water hit me, I stood here with my head down, tryna clear my mind, but that shit wasn’t workin’ at all. Everything kept replayin’ whether I wanted it to or not; from the way ‘Nelle looked at me, to the way she sounded moanin’ my name.

I ran my hands over my face and stayed in the shower longer than I needed to, just lettin’ the water run over me while all that shit sat heavy in my head, before I finally forced myself to get out.

By the time I stepped out, I was in my briefs, still dryin’ off while my head still wasn’t right. I walked in my room and dropped down into the recliner, grabbin’ my weed and rollin’ up without even thinkin’ about it.

Once I sparked it, I took a long pull and leaned my head back, lettin’ the smoke sit in my chest for a second before breathin’ it out slow.

Then I got up, went to the bar, and poured myself somethin’ brown straight, not mixin’ shit with it, but just lettin’ it burn how it was supposed to.

I went back and sat down with the blunt in one hand and my drink in the other, and I just stayed here for a minute, not sayin’ shit and not movin’. I was really just sittin’ with everything that had been buildin’ up in me all day. That’s when it really hit me, and all that shit I had been pushin’ down came right back up without me even tryna stop it.

Part of me was pissed off that Sha’Nelle ain’t just wait, and that shit sat wrong with me ‘cause I knew what we had wasn’t no regular shit. I felt that from the jump, and I thought she did too, so for her to move like that and pop out with another nigga in front of me had me feelin’ some type of way I ain’t even feel like breakin’ down or explainin’.

At the same time, I was sittin’ here tryna tell myself I ain’t need her. I was tryna convince myself I ain’t give a fuck what she did or who she was with, but that shit ain’t even hold forreal ‘cause my mind kept driftin’ right back to her anyway.

It ain’t matter what I told myself or how I tried to flip it, she kept comin’ back up, and that back and forth alone had me irritated as hell sittin’ here with my jaw tight and my thoughts all over the place.

Then I thought about that nigga again…

The fact that he was breathin’ right now ain’t sit right with me at all, and I ain’t even gon’ lie, a part of me wished I would’ve handled that right then and there instead of lettin’ him walk off like he did.

I took another pull of the blunt and leaned forward, rubbin’ my hand over my face.

“Man…” I muttered under my breath.

I reached for my phone, already knowin’ I was about to call ‘Nelle, ‘cause at this point, I ain’t even feel like playin’ it cool no more. Before I could hit her name, my phone started ringin’, and when I saw Reni’s name pop up on the screen, that shit made me pause for a second.

I sat here for a moment, lookin’ at the screen, thinkin’ about everything she been dealin’ with lately. I ain’t talked to her in about a week, and I already knew she had been goin’ through it since all that shit happened.

It wasn’t even about me wantin’ to be with her. That wasn’t what this was.

I had seen her go through somethin’ that wasn’t easy to come back from, and whether we was together or not, that still meant somethin’. So I answered it.

I ain’t say nothin’ right away. I just put the phone to my ear and waited.

She sniffed before speakin’.

“Hey…”

“Wussup?” I asked, keepin’ my voice low.

“How you been?” she asked.

I ran my hand down my face and leaned back.