Page 45 of Certified To Handle You 2

Renza kissed my neck again before his hand moved higher up my back, and for a few seconds, I let myself stand here and feel him. Then I remembered exactly where the hell I had just came from.

I pulled my arms from around his waist and pushed my hand against his chest, puttin’ some space between us before this shit went somewhere it ain’t have no business goin’.

“No,” I told Renza, lookin’ up into his face. “You not about to do this to me.”

“Do what?” Renza asked, still keepin’ one hand against my waist.

“This shit right here,” I told him, motionin’ between us. “You can’t just pop up outside my mama house in the middle of the fuckin’ night ‘cause you wanna see me. You been sittin’ out here leavin’ and comin’ back, makin’ her uncomfortable, and you don’t see shit wrong with that?”

“You got me blocked, Sha’Nelle,” Renza replied like that explained every damn thing.

“I don’t give a fuck,” I shot back. “Me blockin’ you don’t mean get on a plane and come sit outside my mama house until she call me. That shit is crazy.”

“I been callin’ you,” Renza reminded me.

“And I blocked you for a reason,” I told him.

“Exactly,” he said, lookin’ down at me. “So I came to see you.”

I stared at him ‘cause only Renza could say some shit like this and really believe it made sense.

“Renza, do you hear yourself?” I asked him.

“Yeah, I hear myself,” he answered without hesitation. “And I’m not leavin’ without you.”

My stomach dropped a lil’ when he said it ‘cause I knew that look on his face. Renza ain’t come here to have some quick conversation and get back on a plane. In his mind, he had come to Greystone City to get me, and he expected me to go right along with whatever plan he had already made in his head.

“Well, you came all this way for nothin’ then,” I told Renza. “I’m not goin’ nowhere.”

Renza stared down at me for a few seconds before askin’, “Why the fuck not?”

“Because I’m not, Renza,” I answered.

“That ain’t tellin’ me shit, ‘Nelle,” he replied.

“It don’t have to tell you shit,” I told him, my voice gettin’ softer even though I was still standin’ on what I said. “I’m not about to just drop everything I got goin’ on ‘cause you decided tonight was the night you wanted to come get me. It don’t work like that.”

“Why it don’t?” He asked, and I could hear the frustration creepin’ in his voice. “I love you. You love me. What the fuck we keep doin’ this for?”

I looked away from him ‘cause he made everything sound so damn simple when it wasn’t.

“You know exactly why,” I told him as I looked back in his eyes. “You sat right there in my face and told me all this shit about wantin’ me back. You told me you ain’t want nobody else and you wanted us, but soon as Reni called, you told her you was gon’ hit her back.”

Renza rubbed his hand across his mouth, but I wasn’t finished.

“If it wasn’t shit there, you could’ve ended that shit right then,” I continued. “You could’ve told her whatever needed to be said while I was sittin’ right there, especially after everything you had just said to me. Instead, you left that door cracked and expected me to just trust whatever the fuck you told me after that.”

“‘Nelle, I already told you that shit ain’t what you makin’ it,” he replied. “I’m not in love with Reni no more. I don’t wanna be with her, and I ain’t came all the way out here for her either. I came for you.”

“And I heard you,” I told him. “That still don’t mean I’m leavin’ with you.”

Renza looked away for a second, and I could tell he was tryna understand why me lovin’ him wasn’t enough to make me get in his car. The problem was, part of me understood why he thought it should be. If this had been another time in our lives, I probably would’ve already been askin’ where we was goin’. But it wasn’t another time.

I had just left Couture’s bed…

If my mama hadn’t called me, I would’ve still been there naked and laid up beside him right now. I had kissed that man before I walked out his door and told him I would call when I made it home. Now Renza was standin’ in front of me askin’ me to leave with him like I could just switch my whole life around in the middle of the night ‘cause he showed up.

As much as I loved Renza, I couldn’t do that shit.