Page 28 of Certified To Handle You 2

The guilt was still there. The love was still there. The confusion was still there. No amount of concealer or powder was gon’ cover up what I really felt, and that was the part that scared a bitch.

No matter how put together I made myself look, I still had to live with what I did after I walked back out this bathroom.

A light knock came at the door before Toni eased it open. She looked at me through the mirror for a second before walkin’ all the way inside.

“I brought you the flat iron.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled.

She sat it on the counter, then came over and rubbed my shoulder.

“You ain’t gotta talk if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” I replied.

“You don’t have to explain nothin’ to me.”

I looked over at my cousin and felt my eyes burn all over again.

“I feel like I done made a complete mess, bitch,” I admitted, still starin’ at myself in the mirror.

Toni came up beside me and crossed her arms. “I ain’t gon’ sit here and lie to you. You definitely made a mess, but beatin’ yourself up ain’t gon’ clean it up either.”

I let out a tired sigh and looked down at the sink. “I know that, but I still hate that I hurt Couture. He ain’t deserve none of this, and the more I think about it, the worse I feel.”

Toni stayed quiet for a second before she looked over at me.

She studied my face for a second before askin’, “You in love with Renza?”

I closed my eyes ‘cause there wasn’t even no point in lyin’ to my cousin. By the time I looked back up at my reflection, I had already accepted the truth.

I turned the water on and washed every bit of makeup from my face before dryin’ it off with a towel. Then I opened my purse where pieces of my makeup was and took my time puttin’ myself back together.

After I finished my face, I plugged the flat iron in and worked it through my hair until every piece laid back the way I wanted it.

When I looked in the mirror again, I finally recognized myself.

A few minutes later, me and Toni walked back outside and climbed into her truck. Neither one of us said much at first.

After a while, Toni reached over and rested her hand on my thigh.

“Breathe, cousin.”

I looked over at her and tried, but it felt like that shit wasn’t happenin’ fast enough.

About twenty minutes later, Toni pulled into the hotel parkin’ lot and put the truck in park. Before I could reach for the door handle, Kay’Lo’s name lit up across her screen. She looked down at it and answered without wastin’ no time.

“Yeah, baby… I’m good,” she said. She listened for a second, then nodded. “I just pulled up to the hotel with ‘Nelle. I’m finna head back now.”

She smiled to herself and shook her head like her husband was sayin’ somethin’ she expected to hear.

“A’ight… I will. Love you too.”

She ended the call, tossed her phone in the cupholder, then looked over at me.

“Soon as you make it to the airport, text me. I don’t care what time it is.”

I nodded. “A’ight.”