Page 100 of Certified To Handle You 2

Renza stopped with his pants in his hands and looked toward me. His expression wasn’t mad, but I could tell he didn’t expect me to come out with that question this early.

“If you was sleepin’ with somebody right now, I wouldn’t be askin’ you about it,” Renza answered before lookin’ down and reaching for his pants again.

The words hit harder than I expected because there was a time when Renza would’ve lost his damn mind if he thought another man was anywhere near me. I couldn’t even let a nigga speak too friendly without Renza watchin’ him like he was decidin’ how bad he wanted to hurt him. Now he was standin’ in my bedroom tellin’ me he wouldn’t even ask.

“So you don’t care?” I asked while tryin’ to keep my voice from changin’.

Renza looked over at me again. “That ain’t what I said.”

“It sound like it.”

“I said I wouldn’t question you about it,” he replied. “We ain’t together, Reni. I can’t sit here askin’ who you fuckin’ when I ain’t yo’ man.”

I looked down at the sheet in my lap and rubbed my fingers across the fabric. “You ain’t gotta keep remindin’ me.”

“You asked me a question,” he said, and his tone stayed calm. “I answered it.”

“I asked if you been sleepin’ with other people.”

“And I asked why it matter.”

I lifted my eyes toward him. “It matter to me.”

Renza stood there with his pants still in his hands while he looked at me. He didn’t seem irritated, but there was a distance in his face that made me feel stupid for bringin’ the shit up.

I looked away before the emotion in my eyes gave me away. “Never mind.”

“Nah, don’t do that,” Renza told me. “You asked, so say whatever you tryna say.”

“I’m tryna say nothin’,” I replied while pullin’ the sheet tighter around me. “I just asked a question.”

“You never just ask questions,” he said. “It’s always some shit behind it.”

Normally, I would’ve snapped on him for that. I would’ve asked why he was makin’ it seem like I was the problem or reminded him about every fucked up thing he had ever done. This time, I stayed quiet because I knew he wasn’t completely wrong.

I was askin’ because I wanted to know if there is somebody else.

I wanted to know if last night meant anything to him or if I was just somebody familiar he could spend a few hours with. I wanted to know if he still thought about me when we wasn’t around each other, but I didn’t know how to ask any of that without soundin’ like I was beggin’ him to choose me.

Renza started pullin’ his pants on, and the tears came before I could stop them. My eyes started burnin’, and I wiped at them fast because the last thing I wanted was for him to pity me.

I turned my face away, hopin’ he wouldn’t notice, but Renza had always noticed too much when it came to me.

He sighed and let his pants fall back toward the floor before walkin’ over to the bed. The mattress dipped when he sat next to me, and for a few seconds, neither one of us said anything.

“Reni,” he said, his voice softer now.

“I’m good,” I told him while wipin’ another tear from my face.

“You cryin’, but you good?”

“I said I’m good.”

“I ain’t tryna do this fightin’ shit with you,” Renza said while rubbin’ his hand over my arm. “That’s not what I came over here for.”

“I’m not fightin’ with you.”

“You askin’ questions, gettin’ mad at the answers and cryin’ when I don’t say what you want me to say,” he replied. “That’s how our shit always used to start.”