Page 9 of To Regret a Raven

But then she spoke, and his entire world imploded, right there on that soft, vanilla-scented couch.

“I love you, Fisher.”

4

TICKTOCK

AUGUST 2016

Fisher’s fingertips tapped an irregular beat against his pant leg as he checked the ancient clock for the hundredth time. The summer session had finally wrapped up, and Drie had just returned for her fall semester the previous week. Sometimes, she would swing by the library between classes to sneak a visit.

He knew it was still far too early in the day, and yet, no matter how hard he tried to focus, he couldn’t keep his eyes from the clock. Watching as the hands marched forward with their steadyticktocks, driving him closer to the moment when Drie would return…and closer to the moment when she’d walk away for good.

It was a constant push and pull, a perpetual dichotomous pit of hope and despair, wreaking newfound havoc on his mind with every second that ticked by.

The door to the library opened, but Fisher kept his head down at the desk, determined not to check. It wasn’t her. He knew it wasn’t. If he looked, he’d just be disappointed. Then his eyes would return to the clock, as they always did, serving only to raise his blood pressure as anxiety pooled in his gut.

For weeks, Drie had been telling him that she loved him.Weeks.How could she possibly know? She never seemed to care that he didn’t respond in kind, for she said it as if it were as easy as telling him the time of the day, or the weather forecast. Drie said it with the same nonchalance with which she would tell him how she liked his new shoes. But worse than that, worse than the ease in which the words passed over her lips, was how confident she was in them.

Ticktock.

She wasn’t telling him to get a response or prompt a confession. She simply…meantthe words. It was so much worse to know the depth of her feelings, to see them reflected in the translucent pools of her blue eyes, and know how little he had to offer in return.

Fisher’s fingers tightened around the pencil he held poised over a fresh sheet of paper, cataloging numbers of missing books, though his eyes stared straight through the counter beneath it. He was so fucking weak.

He couldn’t spend every minute of his life sitting around and waiting. She deserved better, and he knew it, so why couldn’t he give it to her? He couldn’t love her. He couldn’t leave her. He was trapped exactly where he wanted to be—a place he didn’t deserve to be.

Ticktock.

Those three little words had sprung to his tongue a dozen times, ready to be spilled—but he couldn’t. It would be a lie. He needed to feel it, toknow, like the way he had always felt so sure with?—

“Hello, Fisher.” Rena’s voice was so unexpected that he jerked, sending papers flying in either direction.

“Shit,” he said, before dropping to a crouch behind the counter under the guise of cleaning up his mess.What the hell isshe doing here?He took a moment to gather his thoughts, to fix his face, then he stood.

Her brows were cut in a curious slant as she held out the stack she’d gathered from her side, a pleased smirk tilting up one corner of her mouth. She no doubt thought he was flustered over her presence. Which, to be fair, he was—just not for the reasons she assumed.

Rena was beautiful in a bold, striking manner. Her long, ebony hair contrasted sharply against her fair skin—a contrast she only accentuated further with smoky eyes and ruby lips. It culminated in a fairytale-esque image that had always reminded him of a modern-day Snow White.

“Why are you here?”

“Well, then.” She dropped the papers on the counter with a huff, crossing her arms. “It’s great to see you too.”

He sighed. “Rena, I’m dealing with a lot right now. I don’t want to play games today.”

Her arms fell to her sides as she tilted her head, pursing her lips as she considered him. There was genuine concern in her narrowed eyes. It was one of the reasons they’d always ended up back together during the on-and-off roller-coaster of ups and downs that summed up their relationship. Despite the way she dolled herself up in the same manner in which a knight would adorn his armor, despite the fiery way she reacted with her waspish temper, despite their chronic inability to have a civil conversation, he knew she cared.

Fisher recognized the same depth within her that he saw in all his family, underneath the sarcasm and exaggerated behavior. He could hear her worries when she was raging, the concern escaping through the heated words and ultimatums. And even though Fisher thought she was crazy at times, he could see every emotion she felt, for she wore them proudly, out on her sleeve for the world to see. And despite it all, despite how toxicthey were together, he knew that deep down, she was still a good person.

“Are you okay?” she asked, stepping right up to the edge of the counter. She scanned his expression, her gaze hardening. “Is the mysteriousgirlfriendgiving you problems?”

“Wha—no…No.She’s fine. We—We’re fine.”

“Right,” she said. “You sure sound fine.”

“Why are you here, Rena?”

She threw up her hands. “To make you seereason.”