Page 87 of Harnessed in Gold

Brown eyes, pained and anxious, staring back at me.

“Liv?”

Her breath comes out in a rush. “Jesus Christ, Betts, you scared the fuck out of me.” She falls back from her knees to her rear end. “You wouldn’t snap out of it. I was this close to smacking you.”

Her chest heaves and tears shine in her eyes. I try to reach for her, but something tugs on my right arm.

“And what the hell is that?” She points to my wrist.

The bathrobe tie. My tether.

If Liv hadn’t come home, I’d still be lost in the meditation—wherever it was it had taken me. Another realm or dimension? The depths of my subconscious? Would I have been able to pull myself out by the belt? I doubt it, considering I’d forgotten it existed.

I’d forgotten this entire world existed.

I shudder as Liv helps untie me from my bed frame.

“Explain,” she demands, chin wobbling.

What comes out of my mouth is a clinical, textbook definition of hedge riding. And the longer I speak, the more Liv recoils. She fidgets with the bathrobe tie as she listens, petting it one moment, wringing it the next.

“You wouldn’t wake up,” is all she can say.

“I would’ve,” I lie. “I just wasn’t done yet.”

She stares at me with big, horrified eyes. “What is going on with you?”

“What?”

“This isn’t just messing around with some rocks and Tarot cards.” She gestures to the crystals spilled beside me on the floor. “‘Perfectly nice people,’ my ass. Betts, you have to stop.”

“I won’t do it again,” I say, telling her a half-truth. I learned my lesson. No more hedge riding without Avery.

“Do what? What are you doing?” She chases down my eyes. “What are you on?”

Does she think I’m on drugs? “I’m not on anything!” Good god, that’s even more preposterous than the truth. But probably not to her.

“You never did anything like this before you started hanging out withthem.”

“I’m not on drugs.”

“Then what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you doing all this witch stuff and acting so weird all the time? You tied your fucking arm to the bed, Betts!”

I sit in silence as tears pour from her eyes. I want so badly to sether at ease, to reassure her I’m perfectly fine. But I’m not fine. And there’s no way I can tell her that, because I can’t explain to her why.

“You’re never here anymore. You’re always out with them,” she chokes out. “And when you’re around, you barely talk to me. You’re my best friend and you have this whole secret life and I miss you and I’m scared for you and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!”

“Liv—” I throw my arms around her and hold on for dear life, our tears mixing as my wet cheek presses against hers. “I’m okay, I promise. There are just…thingsI need to figure out. But you’re still my best friend.” I push back so I can look her in the eye. “I still need you.”You have no idea how much.

At the same time, we reach out to arrange one another’s disheveled hair. Awkwardly, we both laugh, wiping the tears and snot from our own faces and tucking our hair behind our ears.

“Come on,” I say as I stand. “Let’s get cleaned up. I want some pizza.”

Liv gasps as I help her to her feet. “You’re coming with us?”

“Yeah, I think I really need to get out.”

“Hmm. Ya think?”