Page 86 of The Incredible Ordinary

“You know, I used to be the kind of person who was always late, but ever since meeting you I find myself respecting other people’s time.” He grins at me. “It’s the strangest thing.”

“I’ve had plenty of time over the years to perfect my silent disapproval,” I say, and we both laugh.

Kira looks between the two of us with a dubious expression.

“Saved you a seat,” Milán says, like he always does when the two of us go out to eat. It’s almost an inside joke by now. I slide onto the chair while Milán gallantly pulls out a chair for Kira before he takes his own seat again.

A waitress comes over shortly after with the menus, and for the next half an hour, Milán aims all his charm at Kira, so all I have to do is sit back and relax. The first is easy, the second, I don’t think I’ll manage. Until, surprisingly, I do.

Milán asks Kira about her job, and they exchange stories about San Francisco and laugh about each other’s travel stories.

I should be grateful.

Instead, my smile starts to feel increasingly sour around the edges. I’m not sure why it bothers me. The way the two of them keep talking and finding common experiences, common things to laugh about. And still, something about it makes me restless.

I try to ignore it. I laugh when they laugh, even if it’s starting to feel like I’m trying to join in on a song I don’t know the lyrics to. I laugh…but it’s always a beat too late.

It shouldn’t matter. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. But our table feels crowded, and I can’t help but feel it’s me who’s the third wheel.

What if Milán is into Kira?

I blink and the conversation becomes a distant murmur in my ears that I can’t decipher anymore because my mind is moving a million miles a minute in a separate direction.

She’s impossibly beautiful. He’s ridiculously handsome. They obviously have things in common—more than I have with either of them, it’s starting to feel. They’re both well-traveled, worldly, interesting people.

I’ve lived my whole life in the same place and have barely been out of state, unless you count my trips to San Francisco to drop Theo off at Kira’s place. My whole identity is being a single father. I have a GED and absolutely no career achievements or even prospects.

The dating profile practically writes itself.

I stop blinking. I feel as stupid as I would if I’d been caught doing something extremely dumb.

What does it matter if they like each other? Who am I jealous of here, anyway? I categorically don’t want to get back together with Kira. That ship has sailed, sunk, and the wreckage has been dragged off to a museum as a cautionary tale.

Well.

Then Milán.

But…

That wouldn’t make much sense.

I’m straight.

I’ve never felt the slightest bit of interest in men in my life.

Well, if we’re being pedantic here, you haven’t really been interested in anybody since Kira.

Okay, so I’m still into Kira, then.

Only… when I look at her, I don’t feel much of anything. There’s affection, but that’s all. No sparks, no butterflies, no racing heartbeat.

I glance at Milán again.

My heart gives a succession of loud thumps.

Pointless to draw any conclusions from that, though. I’ve already made things weird, so now I feel weird.

I jerk when something touches my calf, and my knee rams into the underside of the table so hard I have to scramble to stop my wine glass from tipping over.