Page 78 of The Incredible Ordinary

Lust is a bodily function.

A crush is much worse. A crush is about feelings. I don’t want any of that.

And anyway… What the fuck? This is not supposed to be happening. We’re friends, he’s hot, and I will admit that underany other circumstance, I’d put in every effort to get him into bed.

It’s what I should be thinking about now, too.

Instead, I’m thinking about talking to him, about every- and anything. I think about him laughing. I think about waiting to see him and the empty spaces in between that stretch impossibly wide.

I think about smiling goofily at getting a text from him. Dozing off on the couch. Watching a movie.

I think about my fingers in his hair and my lips on his. Pressing kisses to the pulse point of his neck. The feel of?—

I slam my eyes shut, and my face heats while I try to put a stop to the torrent of images.

When the fuck did I travel back in time and become a middle schooler again?

I push myself to my feet so quickly that Jordan jerks in surprise and snaps his head toward me, staring at me with wide eyes, so calm and unaware of my inner turmoil.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

I make myself glance at my watch.

“It’s getting late. School night, you know?”

“Look at you. Becoming all responsible.”

I make myself laugh. “It’s self-preservation mostly. Waking up a sleep deprived teenager?” I let out a theatrical shudder.

He holds my gaze for a few seconds, smile wide and luminous in the twilight, but at the sound of barking, he turns away.

“There they are.”

Rory is holding Dog’s leash and smiling at Theo. It’s small, but it’s there.

Rory hands Dog’s leash to Theo when they reach us, and Dog looks between the two of them, a dopey expression of adoration on his face.

“Ready to go?” I ask Rory.

He nods. “Mhm.”

I glance at Jordan again because I can’t help myself. It’s as if everything I’ve ever associated with goodness and kindness is personified in him.

My heart beats in my throat.

Not pleasantly. This is sudden red lights and flashing letters that make up the word danger.

I know myself. If there’s one thing I’m not good at, it’s resisting temptation. When I want something, I take it, prices and consequences be damned.

For the first time in my life, the stakes are too high to just blithely ignore them.

I almost start to laugh.

Well, fuck me.

This should make things interesting.

Rory and I wave our goodbyes and turn to leave.