Page 154 of The Incredible Ordinary

“I demand only the best of the best.” I stretch my legs out and cross one ankle over the other, leaning back and settling in more comfortably. “Hey, as long as I have you here, I have a question. You know those videos where a patient is playing the violin during surgery?”

His grin is just as steady as before as he nods.

“Is there, like, a switch you can press in my brain to make it happen? I mean, if you can turn it off, one assumes you can also turn it on.”

“Do you play an instrument?”

“No. I’m looking for a shortcut for those of us who are too lazy to learn, if it isn’t clear yet.”

He throws his head back and laughs. “I promise, if that technology becomes available, you’ll be the first I try it on.”

“It’s a deal.”

He holds out his hand, we shake on it, and he chuckles. Instead of looking away, he keeps his head turned toward me,eyes locked on me, a small smile on his face, a curious look in his eyes.

“What?” I ask when he doesn’t say anything but keeps studying me with that slightly amused expression.

He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just thinking.”

“About?”

He shrugs. “You and Theo, you’ve both been a sort of blessing for us. And I know I haven’t been around as much this past year because of this fellowship thing, but I just want you to know that I really appreciate that you’ve been such a great friend. Hell, it’s more like you’re family by now. Ours is dysfunctional on the best of days, so you and Rory are a welcome addition. And I hope that doesn’t change.”

I smile back, ready to spread my happiness. “Why would it?”

He gestures vaguely. “As I said, you’re obviously closer to Milán, so I’m just saying that when he leaves, I hope you know I consider us friends, and I hope it won’t mean we grow apart. Or maybe grow apart isn’t the right term here, but I figure you get what I?—”

There’s a sudden explosion of silence. The cars on the street go quiet, the steady, rhythmic sound of honking disappears, along with the distant rumble of the subway and the banging of doors opening and closing. The distant thumping of bass is no longer a thing.

The only thing I can hear is my ears buzzing.

“When he leaves?” My tongue is thick in my mouth.

Aiden seems blissfully unaware of the storm his words have created.

“Yeah. His year is almost up. That’s what we agreed. He’ll help until I’m done with my fellowship, and then he’s free to go back to his life. He wasn’t really that happy to put everything on hold, so I kind of guilted him into this.” He traps the left side of his lower lip between his teeth for a second before he shakeshis head and frowns. “To be honest, he’s been taking the whole thing in stride lately. He’s been… happy. I think that might have something to do with you. Rory’s happy, too. I think. Honestly, it’s hard to say sometimes.”

I can barely hear him by now. The bubble has popped and the happiness floods out of me until there’s nothing left but cold, harsh reality.

I almost laugh.

Fool me once.

I’ve been here before.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

Now I do laugh. A short, mirthless snort. I shake my head and clutch the back of my neck.

What is it about me?

What exactly is it about me that goes so fundamentally against staying?

“That’s great,” I say belatedly.