Page 129 of The Incredible Ordinary

“Let’s get this over with.”

To his credit, he doesn’t gloat, just gets to his feet.

“On three?” he asks.

I nod, and as he counts us down, I lift my foot into the air.

“Wait,” I say when I remember. “What does the winner get?”

He shrugs. “A blowjob?”

I almost topple over then and there at the casual way he says it. By some miracle, I manage to stay upright.

I narrow my eyes at him again.

“You play dirty.”

“I know. So annoying, right?”

He still has that serene look about him as he stands, the sole of his right foot pressed against the inner thigh of his left leg.

“I’ve been balancing for more than ten seconds,” I point out.

He shrugs, unconcerned. “You win some, you lose some.”

“Make yourself comfortable,” I say. “We might be here a while.”

It’s balancing on one foot. It’s easy.

Just as I think that, he reaches out and gives my shoulder a quick shove. I land on my ass on the bed.

I stare at him in total disbelief.

He puts his foot down. “I win.”

“The fuck? You cheated!”

“Well, no. We didn’t agree on any rules. I said I could balance longer. I did.”

My mouth drops open.

“There is no conceivable world where this counts as a win. A fucking rematch is in order.”

He tilts his head to the side, amusement dancing in his eyes. “I didn’t take you for a sore loser.”

I’m almost speechless. “I am, but that’s not the point.”

“What is the point?”

“You. Cheated,” I say slowly.

He looks like he’s considering for a bit before he shakes his head. “Nah.”

I flop down on my back with a huff.

He comes and stands between my parted knees, looking down at me, his lips twitching. “You’re cute when you’re pouting,” he says.

At this point I’m going to argue on principle. “The hits just keep on coming.”