Page 60 of Come Back to Me

Swallowing a lump of saliva, I clear my throat. “What do you do to relieve stress?”

“Cooking and basketball are a form of therapy for me. Exercise helps improve my sleep and increases endorphins. They both make me happy and have changed my life for the better.”

A gentle smile slowly appears on my face. “I wish I could’ve seen that.”

One corner of his mouth lifts up. “Seen what?”

“You working your magic in the kitchen. Instead, I had a panic attack, which ruined everything.I. Ruin. Everything.” I laugh in a lame attempt to stop my eyes from filling up with water, but it doesn’t work.

He gets up and sits on the chair next to me, grabbing my hand and rubbing circular motions on the top of it with his thumb.

I look away, closing my eyes for a brief moment. When I open them, my head whips back to meet his gaze.

“I forgot how soft your hands are,” he says.

I forgot how much I missed the feeling of your hand in mine.

Wiping away the tears falling out of my eyes, a broken laugh comes out of my mouth. “I don't know why I’m like this.”

“Whenever you’re ready to talk about it, I’m here.”

“Ugh, it’s so hard to explain. One minute, I’m totally fine. And the next minute, everything comes crashing down. It’s like everything around me catches on fire and takeshours to be put out. When the fire finally goes out, I can breathe again. That is until the cycle starts all over and makes me want to scream until I can never scream again.”

He tilts his head on one side, his mouth parting slightly. “Violet, I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

He shrugs his shoulders, his brown eyes dissolving every bone in my body. “Do you find that making social media content helps relieve your anxiety?”

I nod. “Yeah, it does. Sometimes it’s the cause of it. As amazing as social media can be, it can be incredibly toxic. People can be cruel because they’re able to hide behind a screen.”

“Has anybody ever been mean to you?”

“No, not yet. I’ve just seen so many people in the book community do things that hurt me, not only as a reader, but as a human being. I don’t understand why people do such mean things. I don’t think I ever will.”

He leans his face closer to mine, placing his hands on top of one another and resting them underneath his chin. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” I say.

“You’re going to find people who will see how kind and generous you are as well as people who will have your back no matter what and love you for who you are. Trust works both ways. I know how hard it is to find someone you trust with your entire life. There are four people in my life who I trust.”

“Who are those four people?”

“Noah, Xander, Noah’s mom, and my mom…” His chest heaves. “It used to be five because I included you in the list, but after everything that happened, I had to make some adjustments. The thing that makes no sense is how I still trust you, and we barely know anything about the versions of who we are now.”

Ugh, the way he’s looking at me right now is making me question everything.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I lean back against the chair. “We haven’t talked to each other in years. How do you still trust me after everything that happened?”

“It’s not as complicated as it sounds. Despite what happened between us, I never stopped trusting you. I never stopped thinking about you. I never stopped…” He trails off, cutting himself off before he can finish what he was about to say to me.

“Gray.”

“What?”

“What were you going to say?”

“Nothing. It’s not important.”