Page 43 of Come Back to Me

now

GRAYSON

Violet sits there, staring into her lap. Her body whips back against the sofa.

I move next to her, but not too close. There’s a good amount of distance between us.

“Vi,” I say.

She moves her head in my direction. “What?”

“I’m surprised you’re not saying anything. You always had something to say when we were together.”

“Oh, I have a lot to say. I’m absorbing the information you relayed to me.”

“Take all the time you need.”

We sit in silence for five minutes, zoning out in the direction of the flat-screen TV resting on top of the white buffet.

This isn’t awkward at all.

“You were drinking that night, weren’t you?”

“What night?” I raise an eyebrow.

“The Halloween party during sophomore year.”

Violet had no idea I was drinking that night. I never told her because I didn’t want to. She knew about my father and his addiction. I didn’t want her to think less of me because of it.

Looking back and forth around the room and at her, I tell her the truth. “Yeah, I was drinking that night. Your brother had flasks full of vodka, and he wanted me to try it.” I breathe out through my nose. “I wanted to place the blame on someone for my addiction back then. I told you it’s because of Blake that I went down a rabbit hole that seemed impossible to get out of. It’s not his fault, it’s mine. It wasmychoice to drink that night. It wasmychoice to do what I did to my body because I was miserable. I needed an escape, and drinking made me feel good, but the truth is I never needed alcohol in my life. I never needed it to escape or feel good about myself because I had you. Ihadyou, and Ilostyou.”

“Gray, I?—”

I cut her off. “Let me finish. I’m sorry I made you feel like I was blaming you for what happened between us. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t good enough to be in my life. You were the best thing in my life. I kept telling myself I had to get my shit together, so I could be with you, but I fucked up. Losing you was never in the cards for me at the time. And that brings me to my next question.”

“Can I say something first before you ask your question?”

I nod. “Of course.”

“Was that night the first time you tried alcohol?”

“Yeah, it was.”

She exhales, bringing her knees up to her chest. “Okay, what’s your question?”

“I’m not one-hundred-percent over what happened six years ago, but I do know that I want you in my life again, Vi. What do you say?”

“Okay. I think we can try to be friends.”

I think my brain just short-circuited.

“Mm-hm.”

I remember what I said to her before I kissed her for the first time when we were fifteen years old. I told her I couldnever bejustfriends with her again. Guess our story is about to be rewritten, and I don’t know how to feel about it.

She gets off the sofa, walking over to her purse. Grabbing her phone, she glances at her lockscreen and up at me.

I understand why she wants to be just friends. I’m not ready to be more than that quite yet. I also need to find out why she left me that night. It did take me by surprise though. I can’t pinpoint why exactly. She knows how I feel about her, and I know how she feels about me. We simply need time to make it back to one another. Well, if our paths end up crossing that way.