Page 27 of Such Low Connections

“Mr Bennet, Mrs Bennet, Miss Bennet, might I beg your indulgence to speak to Miss Elizabeth alone? There is something I would particularly like to say to her, and it would be best spoken in privacy.”

Alarmed, Elizabeth turned to her mother and shook her head vehemently, but Mrs Bennet was already on her feet, her previous indolence after the late night and ample punch forgotten in her excitement.

“Of course, Mr Collins. Mr Bennet and I were just leaving the table, weren’t we, Mr Bennet? Jane has her embroidery in the parlour, and I know she is keen to finish it before Christmas.”

“Father, Jane, I pray you stay,” Elizabeth pleaded. “I see no need for privacy in anything that might pass between myself and Mr Collins.”

It was no use, however. Mrs Bennet had already chivvied both family members from the table and was ushering all of them out of the door. Elizabeth would have to face Mr Collins alone, and her heart sank at the likely nature of what she expected him to say, having already made his intentions and his preference all too clear.

As soon as the door closed, the young clergyman came and sat in the chair beside Elizabeth with great ceremony, adjusting his coat tails and clearing his throat.

“Cousin Elizabeth, during the course of my stay here, I have come to value your sensible mind and balanced temper as much as your pretty face,” he began. “Having observed your wisdom in action at the Netherfield Park ball last night, I knew I must put a most important question to you this morning, and for discretion’s sake, I must do this alone.”

She steeled herself for what must come next, ready to explain to this foolish man all the reasons why they could never be united in matrimony.

“Given Mr Darcy’s astonishing outburst at last night’s estimable entertainment, what ought I to do?”

Elizabeth blinked at him, her mind going blank for a moment.

“What should you do…?” she queried, and he nodded vigorously.

“You will naturally perceive my awkward position. No-one could be deaf and blind to the scurrilous rumours abroad at Netherfield Park last night, and I know you share my views on the horrors of evil gossip. Given the gracious debt I owe to the generosity of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I feel bound to act in Mr Darcy’s defence. Yet, it is unclear to me how best to proceed.”

The relief of hearing such an explanation of Mr Collins’ turmoil was so great that Elizabeth almost laughed. The smile she bestowed on her cousin was genuine.

“I do not believe you are obligated to take any immediate action, Cousin. Nor should you. The best service we can do for Mr Darcy at the present time is to ignore the gossips and treat him with customary civility, in accordance with his own actions. The gossips themselves will be better tutored by the example of our good behaviour than anything else.”

This answer seemed to please her cousin, who returned her smile with his hands pressed together as though in prayer.

“How thoughtful and wise you are, Cousin Elizabeth. Your estimable qualities have been apparent to me from the moment I entered Longbourn, but they were confirmed forever by your civility and tact in dancing with Mr Darcy last night. That unfortunate scene could not have been better ended by the greatest of diplomats.”

“You are too kind.”

Elizabeth smiled again and made to rise, but an abrupt change in the expression on her cousin’s face stopped her.

“As good as your advice first seemed, I did assure Mr Darcy that I was entirely at his service during my stay in Hertfordshire. Given that, and my connection with Lady Catherine, it may be that he expects more from me in particular than from his general acquaintance. I am minded to go to Netherfield at once and invite Mr Darcy to make whatever use of me he wishes.”

An image of Mr Darcy kicking the obsequiously-bowing Mr Collins into the Netherfield duck pond intruded itself into Elizabeth’s mind. Putting it aside, she set herself to discouraging her cousin before he could get anywhere near Netherfield or its ponds. Logistics were the most obvious place to start.

“Mr Collins, are you not returning to Kent this very afternoon? Between now and when our carriage takes you to town to catch the stagecoach, I do not see what could be done, even with the best will in the world.”

“If I am needed at Netherfield, I would naturally extend my stay,” the clergyman announced, much to Elizabeth’s alarm. “For Lady Catherine’s nephew, I would spare no effort, Cousin.”

“I judge a call at Netherfield on this account unwise,” Elizabeth pressed on, having seen Mr Darcy’s reaction to her cousin last night. “It might even be perceived as giving weight to the gossip you wish to counter. In any case, Mr Darcy would likely find it presumptuous to call on so short an acquaintance. He is a very proud man.”

“What you say might well be true for ordinary men like your father or Sir William Lucas, but different rules apply to the clergy, Cousin Elizabeth. What is presumptuous for a layman may not be so for a cleric. Yes, I believe my presence might be welcomed, or even expected.”

Mr Collins gave an airy wave of his hand, his face growing dreamy as though already imagining himself in an interview with Mr Darcy at Netherfield Park. Elizabeth was dismayed, seeing the very real danger that he would carry through this ill-considered mission and make their family even more ridiculous than they had managed themselves last night.

Laying a hand on his forearm for emphasis, Elizabeth looked Mr Collins straight in the eye.

“Mr Collins, you must not go to Netherfield Park today, for Mr Darcy’s own sake. You and I both know the rumours that provoked him to be evil falsehoods, but they will only fade away if we do not dignify them with attention. As a clergyman, your attention can only add even more fuel to the fire.”

Evidently struck both by her hand on his arm and the sternness of her tone, Mr Collins appeared to reconsider.

“Do you really believe that, Cousin Elizabeth? Is this really how you see the truth of Mr Darcy’s situation?”

Did Elizabeth believe what she was saying? Well, she did not think it was untrue, and she was entirely convinced of the rightness of keeping Mr Collins from Netherfield Park. As to the truth of Mr Darcy’s situation, Elizabeth did not know what her cousin really meant and doubted that he knew either.