Page 90 of Chasing Hope

Caleb rolls his eyes, cursing under his breath. “Fuck’s sake, V, no!” Standing, he comes toward me, his hands landing on my shoulder a second before he spins me. My body is so wired with anxiety I flinch at his touch but he doesn’t notice. “Natalie is sneaking in and I don’t need my little sister here when she comes over.” He punctuates his sentence by shoving me out of his room and closing the door.

No sooner does it click shut, a hand smacks down on the nape of my neck.

Whiskey overpowers my senses as he sneers in my ear, “You think you can fucking hide from me?”

Terror clutches me in its claws.

Turning to stone does nothing to keep him at bay. A cold sweat breaking out on my skin doesn’t deter him, either. I could be lying dead in a ditch and he would still touch me.

With his grip on the back of my neck, he squeezes—hard—and shoves me forward, leading me down the hallway to my room like I’m a dog. The second we clear the doorway, he throws me acrossthe room, my body smashing against my bed with such force I make the mistake of crying out in pain.

Flicking the lock, he rushes me, and before I can turn away, his hand strikes out against my cheek. Stars shoot into my vision.

By the time I’m blinking back to the here and now, by the time I can see again, I wish I couldn’t. Because he’s above me and I am utterly helpless, his hand on my mouth, shoving my cries of pain back down my throat as he forces himself on me.

That night, I was hurt like never before.

He punished me—body, mind, and soul.

The frustration he took out on me was so damning I knew I couldn’t come back.

It was the worst he had ever been with me. He wanted to create pain. He savored the blood between my legs, the hollow look in my eyes, every minute he ruined me. I didn’t want to save myself anymore because there was nothing left to save.

I floated that night like I had never floated before. I didn’t come back down. Didn’t want to try.

Not with how broken he left me.

That night I looked at myself—with his hand smashed over my mouth to muffle my cries, my body as cold and stiff as if I were dead, his mouth to my ear taunting me as he moved over me—and made a promise to myself toneverremember.

When I woke the next morning, to the bruises, bite marks, tears, blood, and pain, I had no recollection of what happened.

I never told a soul.

Because I didn’t know what to say.

I had forgotten, but a part of me knew I shouldn’t try to remember, so I never did.

But I could never quite make my body let it go.

Chapter 29

Evie

CALEB

good luck today!!!

wishing the absolute best for you

EVIE

thanks C

I’m really nervous

CALEB

you’ve got this