Page 79 of Chasing Hope

Before I can think about it, I lean forward, wrapping my arms around him. He stiffens at first, like he always does when I try to hug him. My mommy says it’s because he’s not used to hugs. But I hold strong and hug him tightly because when I’m alone and crying, all I want is a safe hug. Maybe he wants one too?

It takes a while, but slowly, his arms fall around me, and his shoulders start to shake again.

Dropping his forehead to my shoulder, he cries, harder than before. His entire body is shaking so much I’m scared we’re going to fall off.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

I’m not sure why I say it, but I am sorry. I’m sorry he’s so sad.

I know what it’s like to be sad. I know what it’s like to be alone and crying. I know what it’s like to be so sad that you wish upon every star to never feel this way again.

It takes him a long time to settle, and even when he does, he doesn’t let go of me. I don’t mind it; his hugs always feel safe and warm. I can hug my mommy and my friends, but boys make my body tense up and flinch. Caleb gets annoyed and teases me about it. Daddy just looks sad when I flinch, but I can’t help it.

It doesn’t happen with Matteo, though. Never Matteo.

His hand twitches, hesitant as he starts to pull away. He sitsback down on his heel. I follow his lead, hating that his head is lowered, his eyes avoiding mine. Matteo usually looks for me in a room. I always find him watching me. I know, because I do the same.

“I didn’t know you were staying the night.”

Sniffling, Matteo wipes his cheeks before placing his head in his palm. “I’m not.”

“Why are you here and not at your house then?”

His lower lip wobbles again, making me feel awful for asking, but then he whispers, “My parents forgot about me.”

My brows furrow. “What do you mean? How could anyone forget about you?”

He plays with the laces on his shoes, still not looking at me. “I don’t know. They never came home. I stayed up waiting all night. I tried making myself dinner but there was no food in the fridge.”

Scooting forward, I place my hand on his knee. “Do you want me to make you food?”

“No, it’s okay, Dove. I’m not hungry anymore.”

“They’re stupid for forgetting you.”

His voice cracks. “They’re mean.”

Anger rises in me at how sad they’ve made him. “They’re more than mean! I would never forget you, Matteo. Ever.”

He nods, his eyes still downcast.

I want that sad look to go away. I want my Matteo back.

I try to think of how I can make him happy again before my gaze drops to my wrist. Taking off the bracelet, I hold it out for him. “Whenever I get really sad or scared, I look at this bracelet and it reminds me of you.”

He finally looks at me. “Of me?” he asks.

I nod. “Yeah. It makes me feel safe and happy.”

“I make you feel happy?”

“Of course you do. You’re Valenti. You make everyone happy.”

He frowns. “I don’t make my parents happy.”

“Your parents are crapheads.”

Matteo bursts out laughing. “Dove, you can’t say swear words.”