Page 31 of Chasing Hope

“I love you, my love.”

A giggle bubbles up my throat. “Is that why you call me that?”

“Yes, because you are my heart. I love you so much, Evie. Never forget that.”

Ijolt awake in bed, screaming.

With my throat raw as if I’ve swallowed a handful of razor blades, I scramble up and out of bed, my skin feelinglike it’s crawling with a thousand fire ants. A wave of heat overcomes my body, a burning fire followed by a rush of bile.

I barely make it to the toilet before the contents of my dinner come up.

Kneeling in front of the toilet, with bile rushing up my throat and down my nose, horror strikes my heart. I can recall every detail of my nightmare.

I never usually remember them. I just wake up in the morning covered in sweat, like tonight. But this one…I can remember it because it wasn’t a dream at all. To my utter disgust, it was a memory. Now they’re hounding my sleep too?

But that’s the thing about memories. Once they want to make their presence known, they’re relentless. All of a sudden, the smells that gave you bad feelings make sense why. The certain sights and sounds that always made your skin crawl, you instantly understand every uncomfortable reason.

I know why now.

Everything that never made sense before suddenly does with horrific clarity.

I remember everything.

I just don’t know what to do with the information.

My mind can’t comprehend what my brain has shown me, and I guess I’ve been pushing it away in my waking life for so long that it’s now trying to be processed during sleep. It’s going to force me to face what happened, whether I like it or not.

“Fucking great,” I mutter to myself.

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

In my haste to make it here in time, I didn’t shut the door. Peering over my shoulder, I spot Matteo in the doorway. He takes one glance at me before snapping into action.

He snatches the hand towel off the railing, wetting it under the tap before lifting my hair in one fluid motion. He gently places the wet towel along my neck, making a sigh escape me before I can stop it.

“Are you okay? What happened?”

Mortification has my cheeks flaming. “Please, I’m okay. You don’t need to see this.”

Ignoring me, he lays his palm on my back. The touch I didn’t see coming has me tensing until he begins rubbing soothing circles, his telltale sandalwood scent enveloping me in the process. “Was it the chicken I cooked?”

I shake my head, bringing me back to the present and away from the nightmare. “No, I ate too much candy after bed,” I lie.

His hand pauses. “That the story you’re going with? Sure you don’t want to claim food poisoning?”

“Nope, just sugar overload.”

Matteo hums behind me, not buying my bullshit for a moment. “Want me to text everyone and cancel today?”

Once I’m positive my stomach isn’t going to roil again, I pull back, wiping my mouth with toilet paper. “No, don’t cancel. I’ll be fine. It will be nice to get out of the apartment.”

Matteo frowns and, leaning forward, he places the back of his hand on my forehead. “Now I know you’re sick. You’re burning up. Has your body been hijacked? Who is this and what have you done with Evie?”

“Ha, ha, very funny.” I swat his hand away, but immediately regret it when he’s no longer touching me.