Page 27 of Chasing Hope

I take a steadying breath to try and ease the bile. “So no, the hike isn’t horrible. I’m just?—”

“Struggling.”

My sigh is weighted with exhaustion. “Yes.”

“Exercise helped me when I was depressed.”

My brows snap upwards. “You’ve had depression?”

“I think it’s physically impossible to grow up in the household I was raised in and not have depression at least once.” Matteotries to offer me a smile, but it looks more like a grimace. “It’s how I found hockey. Falling in love with the sport saved me.”

I frown. “I don’t think it’s the same for me.”

“With all due respect, it’s been an hour, Dove. You’ve got to give your body time to fly.”

I snort out a laugh, a real one this time. “To try and heal my wings?”

“Precisely.”

Groaning, I let my head drop back, looking to the sunny, cloudless sky. “Fineee,” I sigh. “I suppose I’ve been a little…grouchy.”

“You think?” Matteo deadpans.

Righting my head once again, I smack his shoulder. “I’m depressed. Be nice to me.”

Matteo’s head falls back on a deep belly laugh and the sound…I wish I could bottle it. It has been, and I think will always be, my favorite sound. It’s a rarity, but God, it soothes something in my soul.

Rising, he holds out a hand. “Come on, Dove, give the outdoors a chance. You never know, you could feel better by the end of it.”

Offering a coy smile, I slide my hand in his, ignoring the electricity that courses down my arm at his touch. I dust off the dirt from my legs and wave him forward. “Lead the way then, Valenti.”

Two and a half hours later, the lake comes into view. The feeling of accomplishment that flows through my veins is addicting, the ache in my feet and knees worth it for this singular, spectacular view.

“Holy shit,” I whisper, awe coating my words.

“Holy shit indeed.”

Despite it being early June, snow still sprinkles the caps of thesurrounding mountain peaks. It’s mesmerizing, the blue lake so still it calms something inside me.

I do feel better, surprisingly more energized despite the trek. Although, I didn’t realize how unfit I was until this hike. Matteo glided up the mountain, while I was a mere breath away from collapsing at any point.

Maybe I should take up running.

“You were right,” I reluctantly admit, not taking my eyes off the glacial water.

“Music to my ears.”

Ignoring the cocky drawl, I go on. “Why should I be the one held up in bed? Why should I crumble and not the people who have done me wrong?”

“That’s one way of looking at it.”

“But really, it’s like I’m drinking poison waiting for my enemies to die. I’m wilting away every day, and for what? Just because I feel shitty doesn’t mean it’s going to make him feel bad about himself and what he’s done.”

“I don’t think Carter has the ability to feel empathy. He’d never feel horrible for what he did.”

I wasn’t talking about Carter or even Felicity for that matter.

Matteo doesn’t need to know that, though.